1
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,308
Halt!

2
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,480
Break ranks! Gather round!

3
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:21,279
- Now then, what did we see today?
- The cathedral!

4
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,073
The cathedral, yes.
And when was it built?

5
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,242
- 14th century!
- In the 14th century.

6
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,286
Now then, how many fish
were there in the pond?

7
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,080
- Three!
- Four!

8
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,585
There were four fish in the pond. Four.

9
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,334
Hands up,
all those who said four.

10
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,718
Oh... I thought there were some of you
who said three.

11
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,589
In fact, I'm sure there were some of you
who said three.

12
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,341
- All right. Did you enjoy your walk?
- Yes, sir.

13
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:49,560
- Good. See you in the morning.
- Goodbye, sir.

14
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,330
- Oh, Mr Topaze.
- Oh...

15
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,326
I'm so sorry to disturb you, but, er...

16
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,703
may I ask you a great favour?

17
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,000
Yes, please do.

18
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,459
May I borrow your red ink?

19
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,594
Oh, yes, with the greatest pleasure.

20
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:28,012
I, er... I've just bought a new bottle.

21
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,516
- You're so kind.
- Oh...

22
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,264
Erm... it's in here.

23
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,791
Erm... the new bottles have
the rather curious habit of being stiff,

24
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:56,582
so I'll open it for you, if I may.

25
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,711
I-Isn't he lovely?

26
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,805
- I like people who like animals.
- Oh...

27
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,640
I love animals.

28
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,851
- Oh, do you?
- Yes, I... yes.

29
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,562
Erm...

30
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:18,433
- Are you going to do the corrections?
- Yes. Mm.

31
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,604
It's a job I don't like very much.

32
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,235
I love doing corrections.

33
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:30,078
Sometimes I find myself correcting
the writing on the posters in trams even.

34
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,124
Sometimes.

35
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:38,541
Well, there you are.

36
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,631
You can keep it as long as you need.

37
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,336
Thank you.

38
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,883
Miss Muche...

39
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,097
I am at your service.

40
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,805
At my service?

41
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,397
I wish you really meant that.

42
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:02,269
But I do! You know I do.

43
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,655
It's a pleasure.

44
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,802
Please, Miss Muche,
let me take your homework with me,

45
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,600
because, you see, when I'm at home
in the evening, correcting it,

46
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:42,396
it will seem as if... I'm still near you.

47
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,065
Oh really, Mr Topaze,
you shouldn't say such things.

48
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,110
I'm very sorry, but...
please don't refuse me.

49
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,483
Oh, very well then.
Just this once.

50
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,611
Oh, thank you.

51
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,238
It's all done up
with your own little strap.

52
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,366
I'm so happy.

53
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,630
- Oh! Oh, Mr Topaze...
- Yes?

54
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,875
Your red ink.
I won't be needing it now.

55
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:10,344
Oh. How very... very sweet of you.

56
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,384
You, erm...

57
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:17,851
You won't let anyone know
that you're helping me, will you?

58
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,520
No.

59
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,394
Nobody shall know...

60
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:26,644
that you and I are doing
something forbidden together.

61
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,487
Oh, please!

62
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:32,404
It's our secret, Ernestine.
Our lovely secret.

63
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:36,199
Yes. Well, erm... I shall want those books
by half past eight tomorrow.

64
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,121
- Remember...
- Hmm?

65
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:45,587
- Not a word!
- Oh, no... not a word.

66
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,001
Thank you.

67
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,605
Not a word.

68
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,748
Topaze, Topaze.
How is it going with Ernestine?

69
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,162
Beyond my wildest dreams,
and what do you think?

70
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,286
She's just given me
her homework to correct.

71
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:28,256
- That's a step forward.
- Well, it's a step in the right direction.

72
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:32,377
Oh, how wonderful
to be so clever and so attractive!

73
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,220
Oh, would you tell your dear wife
I shall be in late again tonight?

74
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,348
Of course, yes.

75
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,887
I reckon I must be
the worst lodger she's ever had.

76
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,622
Still, if I didn't give these private lessons,
I couldn't pay the rent.

77
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,933
- You'd be too embarrassed to ask for it.
- I would not!

78
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,728
- Oh, I bet you would.
- I would not!

79
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,396
I bet... What do you bet me?

80
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,110
I bet you two francs.

81
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,230
I bet you thirty francs.

82
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,357
I bet you thirty and a half francs.

83
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,673
- Hello, Gaston.
- Hello, sir.

84
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,259
Are you ready for your lessons?

85
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,629
Eh? Come on, up we go.

86
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,496
Good gracious, have you gone
through all that muck?

87
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,792
Hello, Tamise.

88
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,042
You must've got up
in the middle of the night.

89
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,920
Well, I... didn't feel very sleepy.

90
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,761
"And love banished sleep
from my weary eyes."

91
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,350
Hmm!

92
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,186
Pindar. Pindar.

93
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,647
Greek poet, Pindar.

94
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,142
You know,

95
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:15,442
why is it they spell stars with a "z"?
I'll never understand that.

96
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,280
- I thought I might help you.
- Hmm?

97
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,991
No, no, no. Er, no,
thank you very much, Tamise,

98
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,362
but, er... she might
recognise your handwriting.

99
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:25,410
Well, er, shall I just underline
the mistakes for you?

100
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,329
No, it's very sweet of you,

101
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,874
but, er, you know, er,
she might sort of recognise your touch.

102
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:35,545
Some people press harder than others,
and, and... and, er...

103
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,885
K-L-O-C, "clock".

104
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:41,676
Ah! So she knows
your touch already, eh?

105
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,844
Hmm?

106
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:47,345
I said, "She already knows your touch."
Hmm?

107
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,181
Only with a pencil.

108
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,025
Not the way you mean,
you naughty man.

109
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,568
And what about eternal love?

110
00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,362
Have you sworn that away?

111
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:04,282
No, no, I... I've said...
I've said a few things.

112
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:08,328
I've said some quite daring things,
but I haven't gone that far, no.

113
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,746
- Well, you should.
- Should I?

114
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:14,839
- Yes!
- Hmm! What do you think I should do?

115
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:18,676
She is a woman.
You must appeal to her as a man.

116
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,965
That's what they want, women.
They want men.

117
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:24,636
Yes, yes, I quite agree with you, Tamise,
I agree about that, but...

118
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,384
I mean, do you think
she'd see me in that light?

119
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,979
I mean, do you think I...
I'd have any appeal to her as a man?

120
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,848
- Stand up!
- Hmm?

121
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,771
Stand up!

122
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:39,947
Yes, you... You present
quite a manly appearance.

123
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,906
- Your own teeth...
- Yes.

124
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,901
- Healthy hair...
- Yes.

125
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,869
- A good beard.
- Oh, the beard...

126
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:48,580
Your beard is really quite masculine.

127
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:53,043
You know, from certain angles
your face is positively leonine.

128
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:56,380
- Do you think so?
- Yes... yes.

129
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:02,423
Yes, yes...
Yes, I see what you mean, Tam.

130
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,514
I am not of unprepossessing features.

131
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,180
You've got a very distinguished nose.

132
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,223
- Do you think so?
- Yes.

133
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,221
I never...
never used to like my nose.

134
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:15,270
Oh, it's a very good nose,
a commanding nose.

135
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,358
- Do you think it is commanding?
- Mm-hmm.

136
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:21,572
It's just that one never thinks of one's nose
as being commanding.

137
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,701
- Oh, the gas has gone.
- Oh, let me do it, let me do it, let me do it.

138
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:29,321
There's some matches and coins
on the meter if you can find them.

139
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:35,161
Uh... gets a bit cold in here
when the gas goes out, doesn't it?

140
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,506
Yes, I see what you mean
about the commanding thing.

141
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:43,423
It is commanding from the front,
but maybe less commanding from the side.

142
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,350
Ah, Topaze!

143
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,719
Ah, you cut a fine figure!

144
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:55,146
The learned brow of a forceful face.

145
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,018
The animal magnetism in the eyes.

146
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,860
Go to her, Topaze.
Sweep her off her feet.

147
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,865
- Demand her hand!
- Yes, yes.

148
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,826
"Demand" her hand?

149
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,617
- Would it not be better to ask?
- No, no, no. Demand!

150
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:14,575
Women are women - they love to be ruled.
You must dominate them.

151
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,498
- Dominate...
- Tamise!

152
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,997
Oh! Er, er...
Coming, my dear!

153
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,999
Yes, yes.

154
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,092
Yes, yes, yes.

155
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,633
Erm, Tamise,

156
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,802
how did you propose to your wife?

157
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,142
Oh, I didn't have to.

158
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,557
- Her mother arranged everything.
- Yes.

159
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,604
Well, you see,
Ernestine has no mother,

160
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:43,196
and of course, as you know,
her father is our headmaster.

161
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,532
Have no fear, Topaze.

162
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,197
This is natural selection.

163
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:54,073
Take her in your arms.

164
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,416
Kiss her forcefully.

165
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,501
Bruise her lips.

166
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,666
Show her with your one kiss

167
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:04,667
that you are the master
come to claim your slave.

168
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:08,011
<i>Veni, vidi, vici.</i>

169
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:09,721
Oh, Ernestine...

170
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,517
What do you think she might say?

171
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:23,982
She may faint away in your arms
murmuring, "Topaze, Topaze."

172
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:27,151
Or in her modesty
she might repulse you,

173
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,321
or she might even say,
"Don't you dare!"

174
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,319
Or she may even slap your face,

175
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,038
- but that's not important.
- No, no, it isn't.

176
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:38,204
So long as she doesn't call out for help,

177
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:43,206
the answer is, "Yes."

178
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,833
Yes, Ernestine,

179
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,255
your Topaze is here.

180
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,137
Yes.

181
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,507
I think I might try that.

182
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,179
I think I might.

183
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,010
Good morning, Ernestine.

184
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,479
Good morning.

185
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,393
Is there anything wrong, Ernestine?

186
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,068
Is there... something wrong?

187
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,071
Ernestine?

188
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,370
- Hmm?
- No, nothing's wrong.

189
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,410
Well, it has come to my ears

190
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:03,582
that you've been spending the evenings
in the home of a very beautiful young lady.

191
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,831
Oh, but my contacts with her
are of a strictly professional nature.

192
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,298
Oh, really?

193
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:12,386
Well, from what I heard, all contacts with her
are of a strictly professional nature.

194
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,630
But she's the relative of a pupil of mine.

195
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:17,052
I really don't care who she is.

196
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,721
I think you're angry, Ernestine.

197
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,310
- Not at all.
- Yes, you are.

198
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,679
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, Ernestine.

199
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,272
- Not at all.
- Yes. Erm...

200
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,642
Erm, please listen to me, Ernestine.

201
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,861
If my visits to that lady have caused you
the slightest vexation,

202
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,481
then that makes me very happy,
you see, because...

203
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:36,242
- I love you and I want to marry you.
- Oh!

204
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,995
How dare you!

205
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,164
Leave this room immediately!

206
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:48,630
- Yes. Thank you.
- Oh...

207
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,420
Tamise, it's happened.

208
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:57,138
- What's happened?
- She just slapped my face.

209
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,383
Congratulations!

210
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:03,353
But... but Topaze, her father!

211
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,354
Yes. I'd forgotten about the headmaster.

212
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,903
- Er...
- What?

213
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:17,447
Erm, do you think someone might find out
how the land lies?

214
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,615
- Me?
- Would you?

215
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,955
- All right!
- Only it's a good moment,

216
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,575
because I'm just about to introduce
a new boy to the school.

217
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:25,951
Where did you find him?

218
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:29,751
Oh, well, it's that boy Gaston Courtrois,
I give him lessons, you know? And...

219
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,373
- Oh!
- What is it?

220
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,798
Oh, a poor child who I was to help
this morning must've been waiting for hours.

221
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,262
I must rush! I must rush, yes.

222
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,302
Erm, erm...

223
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:42,801
- Tamise... discreet!
- Yes! Yes, yes!

224
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,679
What must I do?

225
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,931
- Rush!
- Rush, yes.

226
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,773
- Smells lovely.
- Thank you.

227
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,813
Best ever.

228
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,573
My modest darling.

229
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,960
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning, my boy.

230
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,458
I'm very, very sorry.

231
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,507
A matter of extreme urgency kept me.
I'm very sorry.

232
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,631
Now, what was it...
what was it we were to do today?

233
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,008
- Dictation, sir.
- Dictation, was it?

234
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:29,061
Very well, dictation it was,
and dictation it shall be.

235
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,316
Now then...

236
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,780
Yes, yes.

237
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,821
"He picked up the pen
and signed his name."

238
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,323
My modest darling.

239
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:51,669
"He picked up the pen and signed his name."
Have you got that?

240
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,546
He picked up the pen
and "singed" his name?

241
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,293
No, no, no, no! No, no!

242
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:01,672
"Signed" is spelt S-I-G-N-E-D,

243
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:05,016
not S-I-N-G-E-D, you see?

244
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,761
He had no reason
to burn his name, had he?

245
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,314
- Ah!
- Good morning, Headmaster!

246
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,525
Good morning, Mr Topaze.

247
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,736
- I would like a few words with you.
- Certainly.

248
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,651
Er, run along and play,
and we'll do the dictation later.

249
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,368
- Mr Topaze.
- Yes, Headmaster?

250
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,657
- That's torn.
- Hmm? Ah.

251
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:29,159
Mr Topaze, may I remind you
of article 27 of our regulations?

252
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,205
"Teachers giving private lessons
in the school

253
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,580
"will pay ten per cent of the price
of such lessons to the headmaster."

254
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:37,458
Ah, but Headmaster,
these lessons are free.

255
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,337
F-Free? Free lessons?

256
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,634
Has the world gone mad?

257
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:47,851
Do you realise the grave consequences
of this revolutionary initiative?

258
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,766
If you give lessons for nothing,
nobody will want to pay.

259
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,685
You are robbing your colleagues, Topaze.

260
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,810
Headmaster,
please don't say such a thing.

261
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,028
And your generosity will not absolve you

262
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,035
from paying the ten per cent this time,
however.

263
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,444
It is not just the question of the money.

264
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:05,489
We must all respect the rule.

265
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,498
What is that mammal?

266
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,618
That is a skunk, Headmaster.

267
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,585
- Is it?
- Yes.

268
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,001
- Yes, so it is.
- It's mine.

269
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,465
- Is it?
- Yes.

270
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:23,462
I brought it to illustrate a lesson
on the animals which plague the farmyard.

271
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,179
Huh! Fancy!

272
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,092
- That's torn.
- Yes.

273
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,890
- Erm, Headmaster...
- Yes? What?

274
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:33,889
I believe I shall be successful
in introducing a new pupil.

275
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:35,515
Huh! Ah!

276
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:40,112
And may I draw your attention
to the fact that this will be the third pupil

277
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:44,609
that I have successfully recruited
for the school this year.

278
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:48,829
You have thus rendered
a great service to three families.

279
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,623
- Thank you.
- What is the boy's name?

280
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,334
- His name is Gaston Courtrois.
- Ah!

281
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:57,455
Not a very aristocratic name,
unfortunately.

282
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:02,585
Now, had it been "De Courtrois",
it might have influenced me.

283
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,339
He has a certain agility of mind,
Headmaster,

284
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:10,593
a natural gift for grasping
shades of meaning,

285
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,220
and I'm afraid I rather
committed myself with his aunt

286
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:17,975
who is, incidentally,
a famous musical comedy star.

287
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,817
- Oh? How interesting!
- Yes.

288
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:20,945
Yes.

289
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,859
Would his aunt be prepared
to accept our conditions?

290
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:26,904
Er, 300 francs a month,
payable in advance.

291
00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:29,369
Oh, without any possible doubt,
Headmaster.

292
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,783
Ah?

293
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:35,330
And have you told her that we have been
forced to add certain extras to our charges?

294
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,874
- Certain extras, Headmaster?
- Yes, yes.

295
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:40,213
- May I inquire what they are?
- Don't you know?

296
00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:42,048
- No.
- Take them down.

297
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:43,917
Yes.

298
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:48,593
Erm... permission to drink
at the drinking water taps, three francs.

299
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:52,621
Then there is a deposit for the wear and tear
on the school furniture,

300
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,261
names carved on the desks

301
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:58,982
and words written up on the walls
of the, erm... erm... thirty francs.

302
00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:02,273
This boy would never dream
of writing words on the walls of, er...

303
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:04,066
No doubt, no doubt.

304
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:07,487
Still, if his aunt accepts our terms,
he will be entitled to.

305
00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:10,281
- What was that? Huh? Hmm?
- Hmm? What?

306
00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:12,779
- I thought I heard a sound.
- Well, I don't think so, no.

307
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:15,407
Is there a boy concealed in the room?

308
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,956
- No, Headmaster, no.
- No.

309
00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,625
Never mind, never mind.
Where was I?

310
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:24,249
- Er, thirty francs for writing on the walls of...
- Yes, yes.

311
00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:27,002
Then there is
a six-francs-a-month insurance...

312
00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:28,137
Yes.

313
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:32,304
...against various ills and ailments,
er, particularly pertaining to school children.

314
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:35,142
Dislocation, sprains, mumps,

315
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:38,890
and being poked in the eye
with a sharp object.

316
00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:42,943
Do you think his aunt would be prepared
to accept these conditions?

317
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:48,111
Well, I... I would think in all probability,
yes, Headmaster.

318
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:49,528
Yes.

319
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:51,697
Well, he sounds a very promising pupil.

320
00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:56,073
And obviously one
from the upper strata of society.

321
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,700
And since you have been so imprudent
to commit yourself,

322
00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:00,748
I suppose I must support you.

323
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:04,923
- I'm deeply grateful to you, Headmaster.
- Good.

324
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:08,088
I trust you will prove your gratitude
by re-doubling your zeal.

325
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:11,338
And above all, more discipline,
Mr Topaze, more discipline.

326
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,556
You may count on me, Headmaster.

327
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,265
Good.

328
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,939
I am pleased with you, my friend.

329
00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:24,810
- My Headmaster.
- Yes.

330
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,937
I am, yes.

331
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,732
Good.

332
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,484
Yes.

333
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:43,874
Miss Courtrois.

334
00:23:52,014 --> 00:23:55,473
- Good morning, Miss Courtrois.
- Good morning, Mr Topaze.

335
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,801
I thought I'd have a look at the school
before I make my mind up about my nephew.

336
00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:02,097
Yes, of course, I should be only too pleased
to show you around our school.

337
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:06,439
- Run along, boys.
- And where are the other playgrounds?

338
00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:08,482
Er... the other playgrounds?

339
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:12,733
Well, yes, I suppose there must be
some garden where the children play?

340
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:16,703
Er... No, no... No, erm...

341
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:20,449
I appreciate this playground of ours
must seem rather small to you...

342
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:22,371
- Yes, rather.
- Yes.

343
00:24:22,503 --> 00:24:29,717
...but it has become, as you can see,
much enlarged by strict application of rules.

344
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:33,632
Run along, Paul. Christian.
That's right.

345
00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:39,180
Erm, our headmaster, Mr Muche,
has noticed that a child that runs about

346
00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:42,645
occupies much more space
than a child that stays still,

347
00:24:42,773 --> 00:24:48,519
and he has forbidden all games
that entail any vigorous movement.

348
00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:52,773
So our playground has thus become
much enlarged.

349
00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:57,068
Yes.

350
00:24:57,997 --> 00:25:01,411
Mm, perhaps you'd like to have
a look at our six classrooms.

351
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,626
Oh, no, thank you, thank you,
thank you very much, dear Mr Topaze.

352
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:08,872
No, you see, this school isn't at all
what I had expected it to be.

353
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,089
Oh?

354
00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:15,804
I had hoped it would be...
a little more than a chicken run.

355
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,467
Oh.

356
00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:22,264
In other words, your impression
has not been a favourable one.

357
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,346
In other words, no.

358
00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:27,769
Oh. I see.

359
00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:30,769
- Well...
- Allow me.

360
00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:35,402
Sorry to disappoint you, Mr Topaze.

361
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:38,868
I hope it won't cause you embarrassment
with Mr Muche.

362
00:25:38,996 --> 00:25:41,864
But honestly, do you like this school?

363
00:25:41,999 --> 00:25:44,833
Well, shall we say, I love teaching.

364
00:25:45,586 --> 00:25:49,546
Yes. Well, goodbye. And see you tonight
for Gaston's lesson, as usual.

365
00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:50,880
Of course, Miss Courtrois.

366
00:25:51,008 --> 00:25:55,127
And maybe amongst his friends
I can find some extra work for you.

367
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:58,175
- I would be most grateful. Thank you.
- Goodbye.

368
00:25:58,307 --> 00:25:59,798
Goodbye.

369
00:25:59,933 --> 00:26:02,892
- Anyway, what could I do?
- Oh well, oh well.

370
00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:04,636
That reminds me...

371
00:26:04,772 --> 00:26:07,981
Look what I found at a bookstall:
Pestalozzi's letters.

372
00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:10,771
It's a pity they don't sell overcoats
in these bookstalls.

373
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:13,611
Oh, I'd much sooner have this book
than an overcoat.

374
00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:16,857
This man knew more about education
than we'll ever know.

375
00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:20,986
He said, "To teach is to be taught."
And he was right.

376
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:23,238
We are privileged men, Tamise.

377
00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:27,117
Our pupils teach us to be honest,
to be sincere, to be...

378
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,494
One jump ahead of them all the time.

379
00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:32,088
- Topaze, may I tell you something?
- What?

380
00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:35,835
You are too soft-hearted.
You need more discipline.

381
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:38,552
Is it because of my little musician
you say that?

382
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,297
- Have you caught him yet?
- Ah, no, not yet.

383
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:44,221
- You see, I rather like the tune.
- Oh, Topaze.

384
00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:47,846
But unfortunately
it completely destroys my authority.

385
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:51,308
The next time you hear the music,

386
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:54,106
continue with the lesson
as if nothing had happened,

387
00:26:54,238 --> 00:26:57,106
then little by little walk towards the sound.

388
00:26:57,241 --> 00:26:59,699
When you are right up to it,
turn sharply,

389
00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:04,367
grab the creature from his seat,
open the desk, and Io - the musical box.

390
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:08,116
Yes, it's quite a good idea,

391
00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:12,337
but it's not completely fair, Tam,
because it's based on deception.

392
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,922
Well, is your little musician
completely fair?

393
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:17,588
No, but... well, he's only a child.

394
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:21,008
You do love these children, don't you?

395
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:25,475
Well, you see, they shield us from all
the greed and all the selfishness in the world,

396
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:26,968
and that's good.

397
00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:30,518
Oh, Topaze, I wish
I was dedicated as you are.

398
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,390
- I wish...
- Tam!

399
00:27:32,526 --> 00:27:35,064
- May I tell you something?
- Mm-hmm.

400
00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:37,232
You talk too much.

401
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:39,822
Yes. Let's be quiet.

402
00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:45,571
Let's... let's listen to the silence
of the secret moments.

403
00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:50,497
When time flows softly
beyond black horizons.

404
00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:52,619
- Right?
- Mm-hmm.

405
00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:18,190
Tomorrow morning,
Wednesday 23rd January,

406
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:20,314
from 8:30 to 9:30,

407
00:28:20,449 --> 00:28:24,409
we will write an essay
on behaviour and responsibility,

408
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:29,748
so I want you please now to write the date
of this essay in your exercise books.

409
00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:38,085
That is very naughty.

410
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:41,425
Whoever wrote that is a naughty boy.

411
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,096
Kegusec, I do not need to turn around

412
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:55,895
to know that it is you
who is disturbing the whole class.

413
00:28:57,861 --> 00:29:00,069
Leave the room, Kegusec.

414
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:02,731
There's a good boy.

415
00:29:04,034 --> 00:29:06,026
Leave the room immediately.

416
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:14,038
Kegusec, you heard me.
Leave the room.

417
00:29:18,632 --> 00:29:19,873
Where is Kegusec?

418
00:29:21,009 --> 00:29:23,592
Sir, he's been absent
for three days, sir.

419
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,050
Oh. He's absent, is he?

420
00:29:28,308 --> 00:29:30,015
I see.

421
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:33,307
Very well, then. He's not here.

422
00:29:37,734 --> 00:29:40,568
Don't try and be too clever
with me, Cordier.

423
00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:43,905
I may look a complete fool,
but I am not, I assure you.

424
00:29:45,826 --> 00:29:48,785
Not a complete... complete fool.

425
00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:54,659
Now then, in order to prepare ourselves for
this essay on behaviour and responsibility,

426
00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:57,001
which we will write tomorrow...

427
00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,338
Wednesday, 23rd January.

428
00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:03,458
...Wednesday, 23rd January,

429
00:30:03,593 --> 00:30:07,883
we will begin by doing
a little oral revision.

430
00:30:08,015 --> 00:30:09,881
However,

431
00:30:10,017 --> 00:30:15,763
I would like first to address myself
to the boy who has for several days now

432
00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:18,981
been providing musical accompaniments
to my lessons.

433
00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:25,738
I would ask him for the last time
not to play his little game today.

434
00:30:25,866 --> 00:30:27,573
However,

435
00:30:27,701 --> 00:30:30,034
should this occur again,

436
00:30:30,162 --> 00:30:33,326
that naughty boy will have to accept
the full consequences.

437
00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:41,879
I see.

438
00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:44,381
I see.

439
00:30:45,177 --> 00:30:46,543
Er, Segudille.

440
00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:48,554
Sir?

441
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:53,471
Segudille, would you describe to me
the state of mind of an honest man

442
00:30:53,602 --> 00:30:55,514
after an honest day's work.

443
00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:59,389
- He's tired, sir.
- He's tired, is he?

444
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:05,229
It seems then you've forgotten what we've
repeated at least twenty times in this class.

445
00:31:06,156 --> 00:31:09,445
Does work tire you?
Tranche Bouby.

446
00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:10,908
Work tires no one.

447
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:13,744
What tires one is laziness,
the mother of all vices.

448
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,909
Excellent, Tranche.
You shall have ten out of ten.

449
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:18,700
Yes, Segudille.

450
00:31:18,835 --> 00:31:20,792
Work tires no one.

451
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:25,541
What tires one is laziness,
the mother of all vices.

452
00:31:25,675 --> 00:31:29,385
And children, while we're about it,
let us remember that...

453
00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:33,598
There is no profit
in ill-gotten gains.

454
00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:35,842
Good. And that.

455
00:31:35,977 --> 00:31:38,310
Money does not bring happiness.

456
00:31:38,438 --> 00:31:40,145
Mm, excellent, excellent.

457
00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:47,729
Yes, Segudille.

458
00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:51,066
An honest man...

459
00:31:52,494 --> 00:31:54,736
will be recompensed

460
00:31:54,871 --> 00:31:58,364
by gaining the esteem
of all those who know him,

461
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:03,245
and their confidence in him
will be his best reward.

462
00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:07,294
When he goes past, old men will say...

463
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:08,758
Leave the room immediately!

464
00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:11,172
- It's not me! It's not me!
- It is you!

465
00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:13,387
Leave the room, do you hear me?

466
00:32:13,515 --> 00:32:18,135
Oh! So this...
This is the instrument, is it?

467
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:22,813
- Segudille.
- Sir?

468
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:25,524
I see you take my kindness for weakness

469
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:27,484
and my patience for blindness.

470
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:29,649
Beware of me, Segudille,

471
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:33,365
because inside this velvet hand
there is a glove of steel.

472
00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:35,985
- A glove of s...
- Mr Topaze!

473
00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:37,737
Come to my office immediately.

474
00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:39,830
- Erm..
- What are you doing? Be quiet!

475
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:42,325
Go and play.
Go on. Off you go. Go on.

476
00:32:46,923 --> 00:32:49,210
- Er, Headmaster, I'm...
- Come, Mr Topaze!

477
00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:51,182
- ...in the middle of my...
- Come, come, come.

478
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:52,464
Come! Come! Come, come.

479
00:32:52,596 --> 00:32:54,804
Headmaster,
perhaps it might be preferable...

480
00:32:54,931 --> 00:32:58,345
- The Baroness would like a word with you.
- In the interest of the pupils...

481
00:32:58,477 --> 00:33:00,685
I'm afraid it's a matter
that cannot be delayed. Get in.

482
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,731
Mr Topaze,

483
00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:16,735
as you may or may not know,
since my poor son was widowed,

484
00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:19,283
I have been in charge
of my grandson's education.

485
00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:22,577
I have come here today
expressly to ask you

486
00:33:22,709 --> 00:33:24,666
what you think of our youngest,
Algernon.

487
00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:27,377
A sweet, well brought-up child.

488
00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:29,964
Algernon thinks so highly of you,
my dear Mr Topaze,

489
00:33:30,091 --> 00:33:34,051
that he has begged me to come
and ask you to give him private lessons.

490
00:33:34,179 --> 00:33:35,761
That's very flattering.

491
00:33:35,889 --> 00:33:38,427
Yes, I am deeply honoured, madam.

492
00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:40,971
Excellent. You will come to my house
tomorrow evening,

493
00:33:41,102 --> 00:33:44,641
and you can tell me then what you've decided
about the number of lessons required.

494
00:33:44,773 --> 00:33:45,809
And the price.

495
00:33:45,941 --> 00:33:47,477
Certainly, madam, certainly.

496
00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:50,147
I may as well tell you now
when I'm free.

497
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:53,567
- Tomorrow evening, Mr Topaze.
- Oh. Very well.

498
00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:57,612
Now I want to talk to you about
a small matter which is worrying me a little.

499
00:33:57,744 --> 00:34:01,579
A mere bagatelle
which will soon be settled.

500
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:05,040
I have just received
my grandson's monthly report,

501
00:34:05,168 --> 00:34:07,956
and I haven't dared to show it to anyone.

502
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:10,420
I explained to the Baroness

503
00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:13,417
that there must've been a slight mistake
on the part of the secretary

504
00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:16,135
who copied your notes.

505
00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:20,928
Well, I... I don't imagine so, Headmaster,
since I have no secretary,

506
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:22,675
and I wrote the report by hand.

507
00:34:23,687 --> 00:34:27,226
Madame, would you excuse us?

508
00:34:27,357 --> 00:34:29,974
Yes, of course,
just for a moment.

509
00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:38,407
The Baroness, who has just asked you
to give her grandson private lessons,

510
00:34:38,535 --> 00:34:41,619
already has three boys in the school,

511
00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:44,989
and I myself have certain obligations.

512
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:47,162
It is for these reasons
that I put it to you

513
00:34:47,294 --> 00:34:50,162
that I will not be surprised

514
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:53,665
if there has been a slight mistake.

515
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,166
But Headmaster,

516
00:34:55,302 --> 00:34:59,717
the marks that I have in this book
are the marks that I gave to the boy.

517
00:34:59,848 --> 00:35:01,840
But Mr Topaze,

518
00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:04,308
don't you see that that's impossible?

519
00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:06,849
"English, nought. Arithmetic, nought.

520
00:35:06,980 --> 00:35:10,314
"History, a quarter.
Deportment, nought."

521
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:13,935
Come, please look more closely,
Mr Topaze.

522
00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:16,437
Look more closely.

523
00:35:16,573 --> 00:35:20,192
Can't you see any mistake?

524
00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:23,786
No, Headmaster, it's easy to see
that there are only noughts.

525
00:35:23,913 --> 00:35:27,782
However, I will check with my notebook here
exactly where I put...

526
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:31,160
Listen to me, Mr Topaze.

527
00:35:31,296 --> 00:35:34,505
I won't blame you
if you've made a mistake.

528
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:35,794
No.

529
00:35:35,925 --> 00:35:39,464
<i>Errare humanum est,</i>

530
00:35:39,596 --> 00:35:43,306
<i>perseverare diabolicum.</i>

531
00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:48,770
Be so good as to recalculate
the boy's marks.

532
00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:51,435
Yes, well,
it won't take me a moment. I'll...

533
00:35:53,318 --> 00:35:54,684
Ah!

534
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:59,689
The Minister of Education
is dining with us on Wednesday night.

535
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:02,532
He and my son, the Baron,
are very great friends, you know?

536
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,618
They were at school together.

537
00:36:04,746 --> 00:36:08,581
I believe he thinks very highly
of our friend, Mr Topaze,

538
00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:12,543
but unfortunately he was not able
to confer on him

539
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:15,835
the Medal for Distinguished
Educational Services this year.

540
00:36:15,965 --> 00:36:21,381
Oh! Well, I can assure you that Mr Topaze
will get his medal at the very first opportunity.

541
00:36:21,513 --> 00:36:23,095
Oh! Do you hear, Topaze?

542
00:36:23,223 --> 00:36:27,137
The Baroness says you will get your medal
at the very first opportunity.

543
00:36:27,268 --> 00:36:30,352
Madam, I...
I don't know how to thank you.

544
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,312
Have you found the mistake?

545
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,523
Headmaster, there is no mistake.

546
00:36:34,651 --> 00:36:36,187
Oh...!

547
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:41,155
Now, let us be logical about this,
Mr Topaze.

548
00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:45,743
When the Baroness tells you
you will get your medal, you believe her,

549
00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:50,035
yet when she tells you there must be
a mistake, you don't believe her!

550
00:36:51,835 --> 00:36:55,294
Madam, I assure you
there cannot possibly be a mistake.

551
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,503
Here he had another nought yesterday
for mathematics.

552
00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:02,923
There's no doubt about it -
the last in the class is Pitard Verniard.

553
00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:06,760
And why is my grandson
bottom of the class?

554
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,302
Why is he bottom?

555
00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:09,971
Because he keeps getting noughts.

556
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:11,997
But why does he keep getting noughts?

557
00:37:12,021 --> 00:37:13,021
Yes, why?

558
00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:17,017
Because, madam, he is basically
incapable of understanding the problem.

559
00:37:17,152 --> 00:37:21,487
And why is he basically
incapable of understanding the problem?

560
00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:24,448
- I will tell you!
- The Baroness will tell you.

561
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:26,613
My grandson
does not understand the problem

562
00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:29,488
- because the whole thing is pre-arranged.
- Pre-arranged.

563
00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:31,705
The problem was a sort of labyrinth

564
00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:35,201
in which two workmen
were digging a rectangular ditch.

565
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,669
I shall say no more.

566
00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:41,252
The Baroness will say no more.

567
00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:46,175
Madam, having made such an accusation,
you must say more.

568
00:37:46,306 --> 00:37:48,138
Please control yourself, Mr Topaze.

569
00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:51,600
Do you deny that there is a boy
of the name of Gigon in your class?

570
00:37:51,728 --> 00:37:54,687
No, madam, I would not deny
there is a boy of that name.

571
00:37:54,814 --> 00:37:57,181
- What is his father's profession?
- I have no idea, ma'am.

572
00:37:58,193 --> 00:38:01,277
The father of this boy Gigon
is an excavating engineer.

573
00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:04,568
In the garden of this boy's house,
there is a rectangular ditch.

574
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:08,283
The problem was chosen to favour Gigon.

575
00:38:08,411 --> 00:38:12,621
Madam, this is the first time that anyone
has ever doubted my integrity

576
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:15,787
which is unimpeachable, madam,
which is unimpeachable.

577
00:38:15,919 --> 00:38:18,787
Madam, I can vouch for
the complete integrity of my colleague.

578
00:38:18,922 --> 00:38:20,879
I hope that I can believe you.

579
00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:24,000
But I will not believe that my grandson
was bottom of the class!

580
00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:27,011
Will not believe
he was bottom of the class...

581
00:38:27,764 --> 00:38:29,300
But Madam, that is a fact.

582
00:38:29,432 --> 00:38:31,890
It may be a fact, but it's inexplicable.

583
00:38:32,936 --> 00:38:34,768
- Please allow me to explain, madam.
- Huh!

584
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:37,847
You will explain. I'm listening.

585
00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:40,395
Shh! The Baroness is listening.

586
00:38:41,778 --> 00:38:44,361
- The boy is growing fast.
- So?

587
00:38:44,489 --> 00:38:47,982
Physically, he is wavering
between two different moods.

588
00:38:48,117 --> 00:38:50,200
Now then, sometimes he's talkative,

589
00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:53,662
laughs out loud for no reason
and throws stink bombs.

590
00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:56,624
This is what I would define
as the active mood.

591
00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:59,164
In the second mood, madam,
he stares at me,

592
00:38:59,295 --> 00:39:01,457
appears to be listening intently,

593
00:39:01,589 --> 00:39:05,549
but in reality, he is asleep
with his eyes wide open, daydreaming,

594
00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:08,465
and if I ask him a question,
he falls off his seat.

595
00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:11,930
Be careful, Mr Topaze,
it is you who are daydreaming.

596
00:39:12,058 --> 00:39:14,641
Madam, I speak in the boy's interest,

597
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:18,638
for the eyes of those nearest
do not always see everything.

598
00:39:18,773 --> 00:39:22,232
And what is it that the eyes of those nearest
do not see?

599
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:26,270
Madam, look closely at your grandson.

600
00:39:26,406 --> 00:39:31,447
He has a grubby face, ears which stick out,
pale lips and a shifty look.

601
00:39:31,578 --> 00:39:32,694
- Oh!
- Huh!

602
00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:36,618
I'm not saying his life is threatened
by any serious illness, no.

603
00:39:36,749 --> 00:39:40,333
All I'm saying is, madam,
that he probably has adenoids or tapeworm

604
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,663
- or some hereditary illness.
- Oh...!

605
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:45,164
Or perhaps all three.

606
00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:47,792
And what he needs
is sound medical supervision.

607
00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:52,050
- This is outrageous!
- Dear lady, dear lady...

608
00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:56,217
Mr Muche,

609
00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:59,015
if this professional slanderer
remains in the school,

610
00:39:59,147 --> 00:40:02,265
I shall remove all my grandsons
immediately!

611
00:40:04,235 --> 00:40:08,195
And the Minister shall hear a great deal
about Mr Topaze.

612
00:40:08,323 --> 00:40:12,533
As for the report,
what I think of it is this!

613
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:19,281
Argh! Madam!

614
00:40:20,126 --> 00:40:21,492
Dear lady!

615
00:40:21,628 --> 00:40:24,871
Dear lady!
Dear, dear Baroness!

616
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:31,635
Run! And ask the Baroness
to forgive you.

617
00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:37,300
If you do not,
I will dismiss you immediately.

618
00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:40,261
Immediately!

619
00:40:42,357 --> 00:40:44,394
Please, Topaze.

620
00:40:44,525 --> 00:40:46,107
My friend.

621
00:40:47,028 --> 00:40:49,020
For the school.

622
00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:53,823
Very well, Headmaster.

623
00:40:58,998 --> 00:41:03,663
And remember, the future of the school
is in your hands, dear Topaze.

624
00:41:03,795 --> 00:41:05,536
Headmaster,

625
00:41:05,672 --> 00:41:08,460
- may I ask your advice?
- Hmm?

626
00:41:08,591 --> 00:41:10,457
Come to my study at midday.

627
00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:14,177
Pardon me for being so insistent, sir,
but I would like to speak to you immediately,

628
00:41:14,305 --> 00:41:17,298
for I believe this to be the best moment.

629
00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:21,760
All right, come!

630
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:27,817
- Erm...
- Yes, all right, all right, I'm listening.

631
00:41:27,944 --> 00:41:30,311
I have a friend,

632
00:41:30,446 --> 00:41:33,154
a young man, handsome, well-built,

633
00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:36,400
who seems to me
to have good prospects.

634
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:38,823
My friend is in love with a young woman

635
00:41:38,955 --> 00:41:44,121
who, for her part, is not indifferent
to my friend's charms

636
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:47,495
since she has given him
several encouragements.

637
00:41:48,631 --> 00:41:52,341
Normally,
all this should end in marriage,

638
00:41:52,468 --> 00:41:58,055
but there is a certain difference
in their social standing and finances.

639
00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:02,142
My friend is a lieutenant,

640
00:42:02,270 --> 00:42:07,390
whilst the girl
is the daughter of a general.

641
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,266
And here is my question:

642
00:42:09,402 --> 00:42:12,691
If my friend were to make
a request to the general,

643
00:42:12,822 --> 00:42:14,905
how do you think he'd be received?

644
00:42:18,286 --> 00:42:20,994
This requires careful thought.

645
00:42:31,049 --> 00:42:33,416
Is your friend a perfectly honest man?

646
00:42:34,177 --> 00:42:36,169
He couldn't be more honest.

647
00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:39,968
And is the general a kind,
generous-minded man?

648
00:42:40,099 --> 00:42:42,261
Oh, yes.
He has a general's heart.

649
00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:44,009
Then let your friend make his request.

650
00:42:44,145 --> 00:42:46,888
I'm certain he will be received
with open arms.

651
00:42:47,023 --> 00:42:51,142
- Well, you are the general.
- I? General?

652
00:42:51,277 --> 00:42:53,690
The lieutenant is Topaze.

653
00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:58,816
And the young woman
is the kind and beautiful Miss Muche.

654
00:42:58,951 --> 00:43:02,285
What?
Topaze wants to marry my daughter?

655
00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:04,245
- Yes!
- Have you all gone mad?

656
00:43:04,373 --> 00:43:07,411
- But great love is akin to madness.
- Argh!

657
00:43:07,543 --> 00:43:11,036
Think of Romeo and Juliet,
Paolo and Francesca.

658
00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:13,129
Ernestine!

659
00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:14,668
Dante and Beatrice...

660
00:43:14,801 --> 00:43:17,669
Ernestine! Ernestine!

661
00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:21,175
Ernestine!

662
00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:25,350
What has Topaze been doing to you?

663
00:43:25,478 --> 00:43:27,094
Well, nothing.

664
00:43:27,230 --> 00:43:30,394
Well, I mean, if I can find some man who's
fool enough to do my homework for me,

665
00:43:30,525 --> 00:43:32,016
I don't think that's any great sin.

666
00:43:32,151 --> 00:43:33,983
But why him?

667
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,398
He likes to.

668
00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:37,522
Tell me the truth!

669
00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:39,649
What is there between you?

670
00:43:39,784 --> 00:43:42,993
- Well, nothing.
- What?

671
00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:45,113
Well, he does make eyes at me.

672
00:43:45,248 --> 00:43:47,706
- Is that all?
- Yes, and he even tried to kiss me once.

673
00:43:47,834 --> 00:43:49,075
Where?

674
00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:51,076
- Here.
- In the classroom!

675
00:43:51,212 --> 00:43:54,205
Where all the children could see you
and tell their parents.

676
00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:58,671
You didn't go any further
with him, did you?

677
00:43:58,803 --> 00:44:01,546
Really, for heaven's sake, Papa,
what do you take me for?

678
00:44:04,684 --> 00:44:09,475
Headmaster, the Baroness refused
to listen to me until I found a mistake.

679
00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:10,812
There is no mistake.

680
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:13,273
I cannot invent a mistake
which does not exist.

681
00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:16,690
You are a disgrace to this school.

682
00:44:16,821 --> 00:44:19,484
- Headmaster!
- You give free lessons,

683
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:23,199
you tell me you've enrolled a new pupil,
and then he's not allowed to come,

684
00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:26,320
you stubbornly refuse to see a mistake
when a parent asks you,

685
00:44:26,455 --> 00:44:28,447
you falsify the examination papers,

686
00:44:28,583 --> 00:44:30,950
and on top of your stupidity
and bad behaviour,

687
00:44:31,085 --> 00:44:34,078
you display the most scandalous lechery!

688
00:44:34,797 --> 00:44:36,004
Lechery, sir?

689
00:44:36,132 --> 00:44:40,968
Do you deny that here in this room
before the eyes of horrified children

690
00:44:41,095 --> 00:44:43,553
you tried to dishonour my daughter?

691
00:44:43,681 --> 00:44:45,547
I? Dishonour your daughter, sir?

692
00:44:45,683 --> 00:44:49,552
It is only because I have the interests of the
school at heart that I do not call the police.

693
00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:52,100
- But Headmaster...
- Leave the school immediately!

694
00:44:53,482 --> 00:44:56,816
From this moment,
you cease to be a member of the staff.

695
00:44:58,738 --> 00:45:01,025
Come, Ernestine.

696
00:45:03,326 --> 00:45:04,988
Headmaster!

697
00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:07,111
Miss Muche!

698
00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:09,329
Headmaster!

699
00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:11,289
Please allow...

700
00:47:03,237 --> 00:47:04,819
Finch!

701
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:07,485
Finch! Woo-hoo!

702
00:47:07,616 --> 00:47:09,903
- Finch!
- You rang, madam?

703
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:12,028
Put candles all over the dining room.

704
00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:14,655
We must look beautiful tonight
for the Comte de Berville.

705
00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:17,123
We shall, madame, we shall.

706
00:47:18,294 --> 00:47:20,536
Must we, in the 20th century...

707
00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:24,210
Darling, my show opens next week,
and I want 150,000 francs.

708
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:25,799
- Just like that?
- Just like that.

709
00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:27,918
- Ha-ha...
- What do you mean, "Ha-ha"?

710
00:47:28,054 --> 00:47:31,172
I mean, "Ha-ha."
I haven't got that much, my pussycat.

711
00:47:31,307 --> 00:47:34,800
This pussycat can scratch pretty badly.
Don't you forget it.

712
00:47:34,935 --> 00:47:37,803
Ah! I like that.

713
00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:40,681
You can have anything you like from me,
my darling, anything.

714
00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:42,773
- Anything?
- Uh-huh, but not 150,000.

715
00:47:42,902 --> 00:47:45,895
- I simply haven't got it.
- Don't lie to me, Regis.

716
00:47:46,030 --> 00:47:49,694
What about a certain little roadsweeper
swindle you're presenting to the city council?

717
00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:51,157
What about it?

718
00:47:51,285 --> 00:47:55,120
If our friend Roger de Berville is going
to co-operate tonight, as he usually does,

719
00:47:55,247 --> 00:47:57,534
it will bring you in almost a million.

720
00:47:57,666 --> 00:48:00,454
But that million is not a million, my angel.

721
00:48:00,586 --> 00:48:02,794
Tell your angel what it is.

722
00:48:02,922 --> 00:48:06,165
Think of the many bribes
I have to shower left, right and centre.

723
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:09,213
And this time, I have some additional
very difficult customers -

724
00:48:09,345 --> 00:48:12,304
- the roadsweepers' union.
- How do they come in?

725
00:48:12,431 --> 00:48:15,174
If the city council adopts
mechanical roadsweepers,

726
00:48:15,309 --> 00:48:17,301
it will make a few hundred men
unemployed.

727
00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:19,331
And the union officials
will have to be persuaded

728
00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:22,417
that nothing must stand in the way of
progress. Please help me with this collar.

729
00:48:22,441 --> 00:48:25,900
- And your cash will do the persuading?
- Yes.

730
00:48:26,028 --> 00:48:28,862
Ah, believe me, I wish I could find
50,000 for you somewhere.

731
00:48:28,989 --> 00:48:31,447
- 150.
- I thought you said 50.

732
00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:33,929
- You heard what I said.
- All right, I heard what you said,

733
00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:35,945
but I promise you,
I can't give you more than 50.

734
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:40,165
And I promise you
that if you don't give me 150,

735
00:48:40,292 --> 00:48:42,409
I'll never set foot in here again.

736
00:48:44,380 --> 00:48:48,750
You know, my dear Regis,
you're one of the few people I really envy.

737
00:48:48,884 --> 00:48:51,422
Come on, Roger,
you flatter me.

738
00:48:51,554 --> 00:48:52,886
Not at all, my dear fellow.

739
00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:56,222
You have an enviable social position,

740
00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:57,886
magnificent castle,

741
00:48:58,519 --> 00:49:02,308
and a beautiful, shall we say,
companion in life.

742
00:49:03,607 --> 00:49:06,816
But you, my dear fellow, you have a name,
a most honourable name.

743
00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:13,153
And right now it looked pretty impressive
on the tender for the roadsweepers.

744
00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:15,992
I've always been interested
in mechanical locomotion.

745
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:19,579
I know your interests, my dear fellow.
I know them well.

746
00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:24,618
By the way,
I have all the documents with me.

747
00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:27,541
- You can sign after dinner.
- Oh, with pleasure.

748
00:49:28,591 --> 00:49:30,332
They are all right, I presume?

749
00:49:30,468 --> 00:49:33,302
Yes! Everything's all right.

750
00:49:33,846 --> 00:49:35,758
Then I can relax.

751
00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:39,926
- That's my shot, I believe.
- Huh?

752
00:49:40,060 --> 00:49:42,427
Oh...
How silly of me.

753
00:49:44,231 --> 00:49:46,723
I must confess,

754
00:49:46,859 --> 00:49:49,693
I was a bit worried about my 100,000.

755
00:49:51,447 --> 00:49:55,111
- What 100,000?
- I want 100,000 for the roadsweeper deal.

756
00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,489
Your turn, Regis.

757
00:49:59,872 --> 00:50:02,034
Swine!

758
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:04,283
You are a swine! A traitor!

759
00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:08,207
Don't get excited, Regis.
I have you by the throat, and you know it.

760
00:50:08,339 --> 00:50:10,376
Tonight is the deadline for that deal.

761
00:50:12,092 --> 00:50:14,254
Damn you!

762
00:50:14,386 --> 00:50:17,220
- You little nobody!
- Cigarette?

763
00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:18,884
You're trying to blackmail me.

764
00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:22,350
- You forget who I am!
- Oh, no, I don't.

765
00:50:22,478 --> 00:50:23,969
Excuse me.

766
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:27,347
You are a municipal councillor
of the city of Paris

767
00:50:27,483 --> 00:50:30,317
who's simply taking advantage
of his political position

768
00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:33,232
in order to vote the purchase
of heaven knows what...

769
00:50:33,364 --> 00:50:34,364
What?

770
00:50:34,490 --> 00:50:36,573
...and then supplies
the same heaven knows what

771
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:38,817
through the intermediary of a stooge.

772
00:50:38,953 --> 00:50:41,570
And I am that stooge.

773
00:50:41,705 --> 00:50:43,571
Have I got it right?

774
00:50:43,707 --> 00:50:46,245
It's all you can do.
Stooge, sign your name.

775
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:49,245
Mm, but what a name!
Roger Gaétan de Berville.

776
00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:52,794
- One of the oldest families of France.
- One of the shabbiest families of France!

777
00:50:52,925 --> 00:50:54,336
Sir!

778
00:50:54,468 --> 00:50:56,585
I will not allow you to insult the Bervilles.

779
00:50:58,013 --> 00:51:01,131
Wait! Roger! Wait, please!
I've got to talk to you.

780
00:51:01,267 --> 00:51:03,224
- Take your hands off me!
- Please, Roger.

781
00:51:03,352 --> 00:51:05,560
Will you please take your hands off me?

782
00:51:05,688 --> 00:51:08,416
- Roger, please, I want to talk to you.
- Will you take your hands off me?

783
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,604
All right, I take my hands off you,
but please listen to me.

784
00:51:11,735 --> 00:51:14,819
Roger, I trusted you like my own brother.

785
00:51:14,947 --> 00:51:17,485
- It was I who put you on your feet.
- That's your story.

786
00:51:17,616 --> 00:51:21,951
No, it's your story.
It's your life story, Roger de Berville.

787
00:51:22,079 --> 00:51:24,537
Your car.
How did you get your car?

788
00:51:24,665 --> 00:51:27,248
That was the new electric lighting
for the slaughterhouse.

789
00:51:27,376 --> 00:51:31,461
And those black pearls that you are wearing?
That was the new refrigerator for the morgue.

790
00:51:31,589 --> 00:51:33,876
And your apartment? Ha-ha!

791
00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:37,172
Well, the less said about that, the better.
And now you have the affrontery...

792
00:51:37,303 --> 00:51:39,795
- Hello, Roger.
- Suzy!

793
00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:41,762
Don't pay any attention to him.

794
00:51:41,890 --> 00:51:43,847
You know,
he can't help making speeches.

795
00:51:43,976 --> 00:51:46,719
Darling, don't get so excited,
it's bad for your blood pressure.

796
00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:49,813
How nice to see you!
You look simply divine.

797
00:51:49,940 --> 00:51:51,306
Oh, thank you, thank you, Roger.

798
00:51:51,442 --> 00:51:54,230
Well, you know,
healthy life in the country.

799
00:51:54,361 --> 00:51:57,149
- Early nights.
- Early nights? You?

800
00:51:57,281 --> 00:51:59,898
Oh, don't say it.
You're breaking my heart.

801
00:52:00,034 --> 00:52:03,618
Apropos heart,
I'm appealing to yours.

802
00:52:03,746 --> 00:52:06,489
Come now, Roger, won't you...
Won't you make a little sacrifice?

803
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:10,208
Must we tolerate that a man has to perform
the degrading task of roadsweeping...?

804
00:52:10,336 --> 00:52:13,829
Do we have to listen to your entire speech
to the city council?

805
00:52:13,964 --> 00:52:17,298
Roger, if you find the city council
a laughing matter,

806
00:52:17,426 --> 00:52:20,794
we have obviously
nothing further to say to each other.

807
00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:23,342
- Goodbye.
- Oh, darling, don't be so petty.

808
00:52:23,474 --> 00:52:25,761
I'm a freely elected
representative of the people.

809
00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:28,476
I cannot allow democracy to be insulted.

810
00:52:28,604 --> 00:52:30,687
100,000 he wants. No!

811
00:52:30,814 --> 00:52:34,148
I cannot talk with a power-mad
raving idiot! Excuse me.

812
00:52:34,276 --> 00:52:37,235
Oh, please, please, gentlemen,
don't behave like two schoolchildren.

813
00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:39,696
- You'll ruin everything in a minute.
- Oh, let him go.

814
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:42,941
- Yes, and my show with him.
- Who cares about your damn show?

815
00:52:43,077 --> 00:52:45,490
I do! Roger!

816
00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:49,160
Let him go, let him go!
Let him starve at some street corner.

817
00:52:49,291 --> 00:52:51,704
- You, sir!
- Don't worry about me, sir!

818
00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:54,077
But you, sir,
you get the hell out of here.

819
00:52:54,213 --> 00:52:58,298
Sir, in your family it may be the custom
to get the hell out,

820
00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:00,792
in mine we take our leave.

821
00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:03,261
Well, take your leave
and then get the hell out of here!

822
00:53:03,389 --> 00:53:05,221
Oh!

823
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:17,059
So now what are we going to do?

824
00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:21,188
- What can I do? The deal's off.
- Hmm, so is my show.

825
00:53:21,323 --> 00:53:24,361
Yes, so it is.
Everything's off. It's all off.

826
00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:27,861
Oh, come on, come on, come on,
you must think of something.

827
00:53:27,996 --> 00:53:30,076
Surely you know
plenty of other people who will sign.

828
00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:33,412
Not so simple to find the right person.

829
00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:35,035
Why don't you get hold of Melaval?

830
00:53:35,838 --> 00:53:37,545
Oh, that crook? Huh!

831
00:53:37,673 --> 00:53:40,507
He's much too expensive
since I got him his knighthood.

832
00:53:40,634 --> 00:53:41,966
What about Faubert?

833
00:53:43,762 --> 00:53:45,378
- Ideal!
- Well...

834
00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:48,339
No, he's in prison.

835
00:53:50,144 --> 00:53:52,557
We must get hold of someone.

836
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:54,805
It shouldn't be that difficult.

837
00:53:58,986 --> 00:54:03,105
If I found somebody...
would you back my show?

838
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:06,529
- Huh! If you found the right man? Yes, yes.
- Mm.

839
00:54:06,660 --> 00:54:08,993
- That's a deal.
- Huh! What are you doing?

840
00:54:09,121 --> 00:54:12,285
I'm getting my shoes,
and I'm going to bring you the man you want.

841
00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:14,999
Ah! Please don't let it be
another blackmailer.

842
00:54:15,127 --> 00:54:19,121
Oh, don't worry. The man I have in mind
doesn't even know that word. Ha!

843
00:54:19,256 --> 00:54:21,168
Maybe he knows another word.

844
00:54:56,668 --> 00:54:57,954
- Madam.
- Madame.

845
00:54:58,086 --> 00:55:00,703
Mr Topaze,
does he live here at school?

846
00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:04,708
No Mr Topaze.
No, madam, Mr Topaze does not live here.

847
00:55:04,843 --> 00:55:07,256
- Oh.
- He lives with Mr and Mrs Tamise.

848
00:55:07,387 --> 00:55:08,628
Oh, good.

849
00:55:08,764 --> 00:55:11,051
He doesn't work here anymore.

850
00:55:11,767 --> 00:55:13,508
Oh, that's wonderful!

851
00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:16,478
- What's his address, please?
- 15 Rue Saint Louis.

852
00:55:16,605 --> 00:55:19,268
15 Rue Saint Louis.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

853
00:55:29,701 --> 00:55:33,866
- Mr Topaze.
- Come in, Mr Topaze, come in.

854
00:55:33,997 --> 00:55:36,831
Darling, let me introduce you
to Mr Topaze.

855
00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:39,872
- Mr Castel Benac.
- I'm extremely honoured, sir.

856
00:55:40,003 --> 00:55:41,369
The honour is mine.

857
00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:43,212
- Please sit down, Mr Topaze.
- Thank you.

858
00:55:43,340 --> 00:55:44,831
Yes, please come and sit.

859
00:55:44,967 --> 00:55:47,835
- Er, would you like a drink?
- Yes, please.

860
00:55:48,929 --> 00:55:52,969
Madame has been telling me
that you are a real jewel.

861
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:54,557
- Yes.
- Oh, really?

862
00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:58,554
And Mr Castel Benac would like...
would like to make use of that jewel.

863
00:55:58,689 --> 00:56:00,521
Oh. Thank you.

864
00:56:00,649 --> 00:56:02,185
- There you are.
- Thank you, darling.

865
00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:04,650
- Cheers!
- Cheers!

866
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:08,526
This is very good.

867
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:10,273
- Yes, isn't it?
- Thank you.

868
00:56:10,409 --> 00:56:13,777
Er, Mr Topaze, what are your
average earnings as a teacher?

869
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:16,700
- Oh, you are the teacher?
- Yes.

870
00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:21,497
Er, well, I earn approximately
1,200 francs a month.

871
00:56:21,628 --> 00:56:24,462
Of course, a teacher
has certain clothing expenses,

872
00:56:24,590 --> 00:56:26,798
but when one earns that amount...

873
00:56:26,925 --> 00:56:30,293
- Yeah, yeah, that's certainly very good.
- Yes, yes.

874
00:56:30,429 --> 00:56:34,298
Money isn't everything, but one is
nonetheless happy to possess a little.

875
00:56:34,433 --> 00:56:36,516
Well said, well said.

876
00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:38,930
We're all in the same position,
you know?

877
00:56:39,062 --> 00:56:41,054
He's an idiot, I like him.

878
00:56:41,189 --> 00:56:45,650
The post Mr Castel Benac is offering you
is going to bring in much more.

879
00:56:45,777 --> 00:56:49,191
Well, not much more, but a little more.
Yes, a little more.

880
00:56:49,323 --> 00:56:52,816
I could offer you a basic salary
and a commission on each deal.

881
00:56:52,951 --> 00:56:56,570
On an average, you'd be earning
2,500 francs.

882
00:56:57,831 --> 00:57:00,619
- A month?
- Yes, a month.

883
00:57:00,751 --> 00:57:03,619
- For myself?
- For yourself.

884
00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:06,087
For lessons in what?

885
00:57:07,007 --> 00:57:09,875
Er, Mr Topaze, I don't think
you'll have to give any kind of le...

886
00:57:10,010 --> 00:57:11,922
Oh, Mr Topaze! Are you all right?

887
00:57:12,054 --> 00:57:14,171
- Oh, I... I hope you're all right.
- Yes. No.

888
00:57:14,306 --> 00:57:16,844
- Did you hurt yourself? No?
- Dinner is served, madam.

889
00:57:16,975 --> 00:57:20,389
Oh, Mr Topaze, please,
would you like to stay for dinner with us?

890
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:23,012
- Yes, please stay.
- Nothing special, but we'd be so glad.

891
00:57:23,148 --> 00:57:24,434
Just a frugal meal.

892
00:57:24,566 --> 00:57:27,855
I realise that you've never been downstairs
in this castle, have you?

893
00:57:27,986 --> 00:57:29,193
- No, I...
- No.

894
00:57:29,321 --> 00:57:32,485
- Well, I think you'll like it.
- No, no, it's very beautiful.

895
00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:36,951
- It's really lovely.
- Er, excuse me...

896
00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:38,820
May I look at you for a moment?

897
00:57:38,956 --> 00:57:41,289
- If you wish, sir, yes.
- Yeah.

898
00:57:41,416 --> 00:57:45,456
Fine, fine. I like your eyes.
They're good, honest eyes.

899
00:57:45,587 --> 00:57:48,045
- Thank you.
- Come along.

900
00:57:48,173 --> 00:57:49,835
Er, tell me, have you any family?

901
00:57:49,967 --> 00:57:52,209
No, sir, I'm completely alone in the world.

902
00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:53,676
Good, that's perfect.

903
00:57:53,804 --> 00:57:57,514
- I mean, that's very sad, but that's life.
- Yes.

904
00:57:57,641 --> 00:57:59,177
How about women. Hmm?

905
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:01,346
- Women?
- Surely you have a mistress, haven't you?

906
00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:04,186
Or some little girls tucked away somewhere,
hmm, hmm?

907
00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:06,226
Naughty boy!

908
00:58:06,358 --> 00:58:09,271
No, sir, no, no.
You see, one day I hope to marry,

909
00:58:09,403 --> 00:58:13,192
and when that day comes,
I shall approach my wife untarnished.

910
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,236
Oh, that's good. That's very good, yes.
Your wife should be very pleased.

911
00:58:16,368 --> 00:58:19,361
- Now come along, my dear Topaze.
- Come in, gentlemen.

912
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:21,738
You don't mind me calling you
"my dear Topaze", do you?

913
00:58:21,873 --> 00:58:24,490
- It would be an honour.
- Why don't we sit down there?

914
00:58:24,626 --> 00:58:26,583
Thank you.

915
00:58:28,422 --> 00:58:30,334
For what we are about to receive...

916
00:58:32,968 --> 00:58:34,459
may the Lord make us truly grateful.

917
00:58:36,638 --> 00:58:40,427
Well now, I'm going to start
a new company.

918
00:58:40,559 --> 00:58:41,845
In Paris, of course.

919
00:58:42,477 --> 00:58:45,220
And as I'm overladen with work,
I need an assistant.

920
00:58:45,355 --> 00:58:47,142
The company will bear his name,

921
00:58:47,274 --> 00:58:49,857
and he will be, in fact,
the managing director.

922
00:58:49,985 --> 00:58:54,980
It's a wonderful thought,
but I'm afraid you rather overestimate me.

923
00:58:55,115 --> 00:58:57,528
Oh, no, no, no.
Mr Topaze, you're a teacher.

924
00:58:57,659 --> 00:59:01,403
Come on, my dear Topaze,
you know how to dictate.

925
00:59:01,538 --> 00:59:04,702
- Exactly!
- Yes. I know how to dictate, yes.

926
00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:06,290
Well, that's all you'll have to do -

927
00:59:06,418 --> 00:59:09,502
dictate the correspondence to the
secretaries and then correct their spelling.

928
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:12,963
Oh! Well, I could certainly
take care of their spelling.

929
00:59:13,091 --> 00:59:15,549
And you know
how to sign your name, don't you?

930
00:59:15,677 --> 00:59:17,293
Oh, yes, yes.

931
00:59:17,429 --> 00:59:21,719
I don't have a particularly beautiful signature,
but it's very difficult to copy.

932
00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:24,092
None of my pupils
has ever been able to copy it.

933
00:59:24,227 --> 00:59:27,686
Excellent! Then you will sign
instead of me, that's all.

934
00:59:27,814 --> 00:59:29,305
- I see.
- Well, now...

935
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:33,435
To your future, my dear Topaze.

936
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:36,358
Thank you.
Thank you very much indeed.

937
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:59,047
- What are you waiting for?
- Shh...

938
00:59:59,179 --> 01:00:02,468
- Cigar?
- Oh! No, thank you, I don't smoke.

939
01:00:03,683 --> 01:00:07,176
Now, Topaze, are you quite sure
we should start you off so soon?

940
01:00:07,312 --> 01:00:10,931
Oh, yes, you start me off straight away.

941
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:12,273
Don't hesitate!

942
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,437
- Excellent, excellent!
- Don't hesitate!

943
01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:18,233
Just as you say.
Well, first I'll give you my cheque.

944
01:00:18,365 --> 01:00:20,698
Topaze...

945
01:00:20,826 --> 01:00:22,317
Erm...

946
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:24,364
- Albert.
- Albert.

947
01:00:24,496 --> 01:00:27,330
Albert. Are you happy, Albert?

948
01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:30,746
Madam, I've never been so happy
since I don't remember when.

949
01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:32,869
I'm so happy.

950
01:00:34,005 --> 01:00:35,496
Do you think it would be all right

951
01:00:35,632 --> 01:00:38,875
if I took one of those cigars home
for my friend Tamise?

952
01:00:39,010 --> 01:00:40,967
- Oh, please help yourself.
- Oh, but of course.

953
01:00:41,096 --> 01:00:43,258
He loves cigars.
It's very sweet of you.

954
01:00:43,390 --> 01:00:46,383
Here we are.
The cheque for you, my dear Albert.

955
01:00:48,019 --> 01:00:50,727
2,500 francs.

956
01:00:52,107 --> 01:00:55,396
It's your commission on the deal
and a month's salary in advance.

957
01:00:55,527 --> 01:00:58,395
2,500 francs.

958
01:00:58,530 --> 01:01:01,238
What's the matter?

959
01:01:01,366 --> 01:01:07,784
Madam, it seems strange to me that
people should offer such a well-paid position

960
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:11,533
to a man who is incapable of fulfilling it.

961
01:01:11,668 --> 01:01:15,628
- But I've told you...
- You've not told me everything, Mr Benac.

962
01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:17,121
Huh?

963
01:01:17,257 --> 01:01:20,045
There's something
you're hiding from me,

964
01:01:20,177 --> 01:01:24,012
- and I know, I think, what it is.
- What are you talking about?

965
01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:27,969
Madam,

966
01:01:28,101 --> 01:01:30,718
I feel that this story of a company

967
01:01:30,854 --> 01:01:33,346
- is a disguised way of...
- Of what?

968
01:01:34,316 --> 01:01:37,400
Well, of offering me charity.

969
01:01:40,405 --> 01:01:44,900
My dear Topaze, my dear Albert,
you are completely mistaken.

970
01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:49,450
I give you my word of honour
that you can truly render me great services.

971
01:01:49,581 --> 01:01:50,992
- Can't he?
- Yes, he can.

972
01:01:51,124 --> 01:01:53,241
Really on your word of honour,
Mr Benac?

973
01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:56,995
I trust you like my own brother.
There!

974
01:01:57,130 --> 01:01:59,292
Well, I'm so happy.

975
01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:03,634
I... How can I show my gratitude to you?

976
01:02:03,762 --> 01:02:06,220
Well, I'll tell you how.
You just sign and keep quiet.

977
01:02:06,348 --> 01:02:08,305
I sign and keep quiet, yes.

978
01:02:08,433 --> 01:02:11,267
Yes, in business
the first lesson one learns is discretion.

979
01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:13,386
Oh, yes, I understand that.

980
01:02:13,521 --> 01:02:15,103
Well, now sign, my dear Topaze,

981
01:02:15,232 --> 01:02:18,020
and underneath your name
you put "Managing Director".

982
01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:20,143
Yes. Er...

983
01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:22,774
Sign. Sign.

984
01:02:22,906 --> 01:02:25,694
Madam, sir,

985
01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:29,318
I would just like to say
that I am deeply grateful...

986
01:02:29,454 --> 01:02:32,322
- Right.
- ...and I'm very, very, very moved.

987
01:02:32,457 --> 01:02:33,948
Right, you sign here.

988
01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:36,292
Here, yes.

989
01:02:36,419 --> 01:02:39,787
Albert Topaze.

990
01:02:39,923 --> 01:02:42,506
Wonderful, wonderful!

991
01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:45,502
Wonderful, thank you very much,
my dear Director.

992
01:02:45,637 --> 01:02:47,299
Topaze Limited.

993
01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:51,049
It will look splendid on a brass plate
in the heart of Paris, huh?

994
01:02:51,810 --> 01:02:56,350
Managing Director in the heart of Paris.

995
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:36,431
- Mr Roger de Berville.
- Oh.

996
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:38,520
Mr de Berville.

997
01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:41,482
To what do I owe
the pleasure of your visit?

998
01:03:41,609 --> 01:03:44,818
I'm rather interested
in your business, Mr Topaze.

999
01:03:44,946 --> 01:03:47,984
Oh, well, I'm very pleased to hear it.

1000
01:03:48,116 --> 01:03:53,407
I'm a bit of a novice, but I'm doing my best
to catch up on the gaps in my education.

1001
01:03:53,538 --> 01:03:55,404
Mm, so I see.

1002
01:03:55,540 --> 01:03:57,202
- Er... cigar?
- No, thanks.

1003
01:03:57,334 --> 01:03:58,666
Oh.

1004
01:04:01,171 --> 01:04:03,504
Erm, did you want something?

1005
01:04:03,631 --> 01:04:04,917
No.

1006
01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:08,214
Well then, er... back to work.

1007
01:04:08,345 --> 01:04:11,088
Remember, work tires no one.

1008
01:04:11,222 --> 01:04:15,216
What tires one is laziness,
the mother of all vices.

1009
01:04:15,352 --> 01:04:18,595
Oh, Mr Topaze,
you are a wit.

1010
01:04:22,359 --> 01:04:25,022
Commercial law,

1011
01:04:25,153 --> 01:04:26,735
engineering,

1012
01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:28,980
local administration.

1013
01:04:29,115 --> 01:04:30,401
That's rather telling, isn't it?

1014
01:04:30,992 --> 01:04:33,405
What do you mean by "telling"?

1015
01:04:33,536 --> 01:04:37,701
I assume that you're the one that's
supplying roadsweepers to the city council.

1016
01:04:37,832 --> 01:04:39,414
Am I right?

1017
01:04:39,542 --> 01:04:43,411
Sir, the first lesson
one learns in business

1018
01:04:43,546 --> 01:04:46,880
is that discretion is essential.

1019
01:04:47,008 --> 01:04:49,000
Especially for those kinds of deals.

1020
01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:52,420
Perhaps, perhaps, who knows?

1021
01:04:52,555 --> 01:04:56,765
I think you'll find your cigar will draw better
if you pierce the end.

1022
01:04:56,893 --> 01:04:58,725
Oh, yes.

1023
01:04:58,853 --> 01:05:01,812
You realise that I know all
about the roadsweepers.

1024
01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:04,353
I even know someone
who would be sitting in your chair

1025
01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:06,771
if he'd been willing to work
at a cut-price like you.

1026
01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,732
Like me, at a cut-price?

1027
01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:11,651
Oh!

1028
01:05:11,783 --> 01:05:13,991
That's a good one. That is a good one.

1029
01:05:14,702 --> 01:05:17,285
Just between ourselves,
how much are you getting out of it?

1030
01:05:18,415 --> 01:05:22,955
- 2,500 francs.
- You're joking, of course.

1031
01:05:23,086 --> 01:05:24,167
I am not joking.

1032
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:26,958
My dear sir!

1033
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:31,334
I agree that in business
it's often a good thing to pretend to be stupid,

1034
01:05:31,469 --> 01:05:34,803
but really, I think
you're carrying it a little far.

1035
01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:38,011
Mr de Berville,

1036
01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:42,683
that was a rude and untimely remark.

1037
01:05:42,814 --> 01:05:46,273
It would do well if you were
to reflect a little before speaking.

1038
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:48,646
Would you please leave the room.

1039
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,314
Certainly.

1040
01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:53,440
Before I go, I thought
you might like to read this.

1041
01:05:53,575 --> 01:05:56,238
It's the monthly report of the city council.

1042
01:05:56,369 --> 01:06:00,238
You'll find underlined in red
the sums of money paid by the council

1043
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:02,956
for schemes recommended
by Castel Benac.

1044
01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:06,752
I invite you to compare them

1045
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:09,918
with the figures on the files
that you keep in this office.

1046
01:06:11,009 --> 01:06:12,250
But why should I do that?

1047
01:06:12,385 --> 01:06:15,844
Well, if the teaching profession
hasn't completely finished you,

1048
01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:20,387
you'll soon learn that these sums of money
all end up in Castel Benac's pockets.

1049
01:06:21,519 --> 01:06:22,851
But that's stealing.

1050
01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:25,687
Yes.

1051
01:06:26,441 --> 01:06:27,557
That's right.

1052
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:31,602
Well, I think I'll leave you to your reading.

1053
01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:37,984
I'm sure it will help
to fill the gaps in your education.

1054
01:06:55,929 --> 01:06:59,047
"Repainting the exterior of the Eiffel Tower."

1055
01:07:00,183 --> 01:07:01,183
Huh!

1056
01:07:03,311 --> 01:07:06,975
♪ I like money,
and I'm not ashamed to say so

1057
01:07:07,106 --> 01:07:10,065
♪ Although it sounds
unfeminine and brash

1058
01:07:11,152 --> 01:07:14,645
♪ The pound, the franc, the yankee dollar,
and the peso

1059
01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:18,570
♪ The language doesn't matter
if it's all hard cash

1060
01:07:22,372 --> 01:07:23,908
♪ I like money

1061
01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:29,126
♪ Though it's usually presented
as the root of all unhappiness and strife

1062
01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:33,835
♪ Well, I should care if millionaires
are troubled and tormented

1063
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:37,506
♪ I hope I have that kind of trouble
all my life

1064
01:07:42,267 --> 01:07:43,974
♪ I like money

1065
01:07:44,102 --> 01:07:45,934
♪ And I simply have to quarrel

1066
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:49,772
♪ With a certain slogan I do not believe

1067
01:07:49,899 --> 01:07:53,768
♪ You cannot take it with you,
how absurd and how immoral

1068
01:07:53,903 --> 01:07:58,364
♪ I'm going to take it with me,
or I just won't leave

1069
01:07:58,491 --> 01:08:03,077
♪ Just give me lots and lots of money,
overflowing pots of money

1070
01:08:03,204 --> 01:08:05,446
♪ I like money

1071
01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:09,041
♪ That's all ♪

1072
01:08:19,721 --> 01:08:22,384
- Yeah?
- Oh, er, Miss Courtrois' dressing room.

1073
01:08:22,515 --> 01:08:24,302
- Downstairs.
- Thank you.

1074
01:08:55,673 --> 01:08:58,381
Come in, yes.

1075
01:08:58,509 --> 01:08:59,841
Albert!

1076
01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:01,926
- Miss Courtrois!
- Excuse me.

1077
01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:04,138
What is he doing here?

1078
01:09:04,891 --> 01:09:06,974
Miss Courtrois,
do you know who Mr Benac is?

1079
01:09:07,101 --> 01:09:09,468
Huh? And who am I, Albert?

1080
01:09:09,604 --> 01:09:12,938
He is nothing more than a common crook,
and his place is in prison.

1081
01:09:13,066 --> 01:09:15,103
Albert! How can you?

1082
01:09:15,234 --> 01:09:16,850
I'm going to the Chief of Police.

1083
01:09:18,946 --> 01:09:21,484
He's mad. He's dangerous.
We must do something.

1084
01:09:21,616 --> 01:09:23,608
Leave him to me.
I'll deal with him.

1085
01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:26,527
Mr Topaze. Albert.

1086
01:09:26,663 --> 01:09:28,950
Please, please don't go.
Come with me.

1087
01:09:29,082 --> 01:09:31,165
Albert, I must talk to you.

1088
01:09:40,343 --> 01:09:42,130
What do you wish... oh!

1089
01:09:45,056 --> 01:09:47,548
Albert! Albert, what are you doing?

1090
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:50,267
Shh!
Shh! For God's sake!

1091
01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:52,261
Quiet, Albert!

1092
01:09:52,397 --> 01:09:54,605
- Do you want to ruin me?
- You?

1093
01:09:54,732 --> 01:09:56,189
Yes, me, me, me.

1094
01:09:56,317 --> 01:10:00,402
- You're not in league with him, are you?
- Oh, yes. Yes, I am.

1095
01:10:00,530 --> 01:10:02,692
I didn't tell you everything.

1096
01:10:02,824 --> 01:10:05,487
- What do you wish to tell me?
- Everything, everything.

1097
01:10:05,618 --> 01:10:07,735
How I became involved.

1098
01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:11,489
Oh, please...
Please, will you listen to me?

1099
01:10:12,291 --> 01:10:13,657
I am listening, madame.

1100
01:10:15,586 --> 01:10:19,375
Mr Castel Benac was the executor
of my father's will.

1101
01:10:19,507 --> 01:10:22,124
I put my whole fortune in his hands,

1102
01:10:22,260 --> 01:10:24,297
and he started investing my money.

1103
01:10:25,304 --> 01:10:28,547
From time to time,
he gave me papers to sign.

1104
01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:31,679
And you signed?

1105
01:10:31,811 --> 01:10:33,518
Better you should cut off your right hand.

1106
01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:37,139
I know. But I signed without knowing,
just like you did.

1107
01:10:38,025 --> 01:10:41,393
Yes, that's true. Just like me.

1108
01:10:41,529 --> 01:10:44,647
I realise now, I should have denounced him
the moment I found out.

1109
01:10:45,950 --> 01:10:47,612
But I'm scared.

1110
01:10:47,744 --> 01:10:50,578
I'm a woman at the mercy
of a dangerous man.

1111
01:10:51,581 --> 01:10:53,573
What else can I do...

1112
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:56,909
but seek help?

1113
01:10:57,044 --> 01:10:58,251
Why did you choose me?

1114
01:11:00,089 --> 01:11:04,299
Because the moment I saw you,
I was struck by your manly face.

1115
01:11:06,179 --> 01:11:08,592
I thought you could protect me.

1116
01:11:08,723 --> 01:11:10,339
You're the only one who can outwit him.

1117
01:11:10,475 --> 01:11:12,967
Stay with him, work with him, watch him,

1118
01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:15,640
and when you find out
his weak moment, strike!

1119
01:11:15,772 --> 01:11:17,638
I will strike, madam, I will strike.

1120
01:11:17,774 --> 01:11:20,482
Oh yes, but not yet, please.

1121
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:22,852
Be very friendly with him,

1122
01:11:22,987 --> 01:11:25,604
and stay close to me.

1123
01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:28,448
Oh, I need you so much.

1124
01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:33,195
I will stay close to you.

1125
01:11:34,081 --> 01:11:37,620
Oh, thank you. Thank you.

1126
01:11:37,752 --> 01:11:41,541
- Ten minutes, Miss Courtrois.
- Oh yes, my next number. I must change.

1127
01:11:41,672 --> 01:11:45,382
Come with me, and apologise
to Mr Castel Benac... for my sake.

1128
01:11:47,512 --> 01:11:49,970
Very well, for your sake.

1129
01:12:01,901 --> 01:12:04,985
Mr Topaze is very sorry, Regis.
There has been a misunderstanding.

1130
01:12:05,112 --> 01:12:07,149
What are you talking about?
A misunderstanding?

1131
01:12:07,281 --> 01:12:10,570
There has been a misunderstanding!
Don't argue!

1132
01:12:10,701 --> 01:12:12,909
He's ready to sign now
and carry on as before.

1133
01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,700
- Aren't you, Mr Topaze?
- Yes, I have all the papers here,

1134
01:12:15,832 --> 01:12:18,074
and I'll sign them now if you wish.

1135
01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:19,620
Ah.

1136
01:12:20,461 --> 01:12:22,669
Are you sure you're quite all right,
Topaze?

1137
01:12:22,797 --> 01:12:25,039
You said some very strange things
a few moments ago.

1138
01:12:25,174 --> 01:12:26,665
He is fine!

1139
01:12:26,801 --> 01:12:29,965
I'm... I'm all right now, thank you.
I'm sorry, I...

1140
01:12:30,096 --> 01:12:32,884
- All right. We'll let it pass, hmm?
- Please.

1141
01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:37,388
- We'll let it pass.
- Thank you.

1142
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:39,762
Sit down and sign.

1143
01:13:03,254 --> 01:13:05,166
Headmaster!

1144
01:13:05,298 --> 01:13:07,335
Headmaster, look!

1145
01:13:07,466 --> 01:13:09,298
Topaze!

1146
01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:11,544
I'm so glad for him!

1147
01:13:11,679 --> 01:13:14,843
So, er... at last!

1148
01:13:14,974 --> 01:13:17,637
I always thought he'd come through.

1149
01:13:17,768 --> 01:13:20,977
- What's this? Roadsweepers...
- Yes, yes.

1150
01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:22,721
- Topaze?
- Yes.

1151
01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:25,019
- And his photo in print?
- Yes.

1152
01:13:25,151 --> 01:13:27,985
- It looks like him, too.
- He's gone a long way, our Topaze.

1153
01:13:28,112 --> 01:13:29,478
He's a success.

1154
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:33,733
- I always thought he would be a success.
- Yes.

1155
01:13:33,868 --> 01:13:37,407
- Something must be done about it.
- Yes.

1156
01:13:39,081 --> 01:13:41,368
Something will be done about it.

1157
01:13:45,546 --> 01:13:48,163
Oh, come in, Mr Topaze.
Miss Courtrois is in the drawing room.

1158
01:13:48,299 --> 01:13:50,006
Thank you very much.

1159
01:13:53,846 --> 01:13:58,090
Yes, darling, I know Albert
is an idiot, but he's not dangerous anymore.

1160
01:13:58,225 --> 01:14:00,433
And I can handle him.
Don't worry.

1161
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:03,057
All right, see you tonight.

1162
01:14:03,189 --> 01:14:04,646
Bye-bye.

1163
01:14:08,194 --> 01:14:10,311
Oh. Hello, Albert.

1164
01:14:11,072 --> 01:14:12,734
How wonderful to see you.

1165
01:14:12,865 --> 01:14:14,902
I've just been speaking to Regis about you.

1166
01:14:15,034 --> 01:14:17,151
Please don't pretend, madam.

1167
01:14:17,286 --> 01:14:19,448
I overheard some of your conversation.

1168
01:14:25,169 --> 01:14:26,580
Does it make you feel any happier?

1169
01:14:28,005 --> 01:14:30,964
You are a cruel and deceitful woman.

1170
01:14:32,051 --> 01:14:34,043
That's not true, Albert.

1171
01:14:34,178 --> 01:14:37,137
I'm your friend,
and that's why I chose you.

1172
01:14:38,057 --> 01:14:40,800
Because I had such a manly face.

1173
01:14:42,687 --> 01:14:44,178
Because you are so kind.

1174
01:14:44,313 --> 01:14:46,145
Because I saw you were poor.

1175
01:14:46,273 --> 01:14:48,890
Why should
a poor man interest you?

1176
01:14:51,779 --> 01:14:54,146
Because I've known poverty myself.

1177
01:14:56,158 --> 01:15:00,903
You see,
my real name is Magda Németh,

1178
01:15:01,038 --> 01:15:02,870
and where I come from,

1179
01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:06,663
people boil mashed corn
and eat it day after day,

1180
01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:08,660
all their lives.

1181
01:15:09,296 --> 01:15:12,130
And to forget their hunger, they dream.

1182
01:15:14,093 --> 01:15:15,504
My dream was Paris.

1183
01:15:18,055 --> 01:15:19,171
So was mine.

1184
01:15:20,808 --> 01:15:23,016
So here we are.

1185
01:15:23,144 --> 01:15:26,182
Only when I arrived,
I had one pair of stockings.

1186
01:15:27,481 --> 01:15:30,098
And they were...
But I had beautiful legs.

1187
01:15:31,235 --> 01:15:33,101
So I offered them to the highest bidder.

1188
01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:37,109
How degrading.

1189
01:15:38,909 --> 01:15:41,868
Topaze, come on, let's face it.

1190
01:15:43,247 --> 01:15:44,954
The whole life is an auction.

1191
01:15:46,375 --> 01:15:48,833
Men offer their brains or their muscles.

1192
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:52,420
Women offer themselves.

1193
01:15:53,966 --> 01:15:55,798
It's all the same.

1194
01:15:57,094 --> 01:16:01,509
Oh, come on, don't let me get
into one of my Hungarian moods.

1195
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:03,802
- It all could be much worse.
- Hmm.

1196
01:16:03,934 --> 01:16:05,470
Cheer up, Topaze.

1197
01:16:05,603 --> 01:16:08,266
Castel Benac has great things
in store for you.

1198
01:16:08,397 --> 01:16:09,933
Yes.

1199
01:16:11,525 --> 01:16:13,562
Here are the monthly accounts.

1200
01:16:28,876 --> 01:16:31,414
You must excuse me
coming in unannounced,

1201
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:33,753
but there was no one in the office.

1202
01:16:33,881 --> 01:16:36,749
I'm sorry.
We've been rather busy today.

1203
01:16:36,884 --> 01:16:39,046
Have I the pleasure
of speaking to Mr Topaze?

1204
01:16:39,178 --> 01:16:42,046
- Yes, you have. How do you do?
- How do you do?

1205
01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:44,594
- Er, can I help you?
- I'm afraid not, sir.

1206
01:16:44,725 --> 01:16:46,136
- Cigar?
- No, thank you.

1207
01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:49,682
I've not come to ask your help
but to offer mine.

1208
01:16:50,564 --> 01:16:51,850
Oh?

1209
01:16:51,982 --> 01:16:54,565
Er... sit down, please.

1210
01:16:54,693 --> 01:16:58,403
Er... may I inquire who you are?

1211
01:16:59,031 --> 01:17:00,988
Who I am?

1212
01:17:01,992 --> 01:17:05,906
An old philosopher with a weakness
for taking an interest in other people.

1213
01:17:06,747 --> 01:17:08,409
I see. Hmm.

1214
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:11,500
And what makes you think
that I am interesting?

1215
01:17:11,627 --> 01:17:15,120
Next week's edition
of "The Public Conscience".

1216
01:17:16,507 --> 01:17:21,502
The editor has made a very serious inquiry
into this unsavoury affair,

1217
01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:26,723
and next week, half a million readers
will learn the truth about Topaze.

1218
01:17:27,476 --> 01:17:28,967
This is my photograph!

1219
01:17:29,103 --> 01:17:32,096
The first duty of the press
is to keep an eye on morals

1220
01:17:32,773 --> 01:17:35,356
and to denounce any abuses.

1221
01:17:36,610 --> 01:17:39,569
- Have you nothing to say?
- No, what can I say?

1222
01:17:40,364 --> 01:17:44,699
Now, sir, you're not just going to wait
for the scandal to burst about your ears?

1223
01:17:45,744 --> 01:17:47,656
Think, sir.

1224
01:17:47,788 --> 01:17:50,371
Honour is our most precious attribute

1225
01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:53,950
and worth every sacrifice.

1226
01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:57,162
Come now, can't you guess
what you must do?

1227
01:17:59,216 --> 01:18:03,460
Sir, I hardly dare put a meaning
to your words.

1228
01:18:04,221 --> 01:18:06,338
Then dare, sir, dare!

1229
01:18:07,224 --> 01:18:09,841
And you honestly mean
that if I did that,

1230
01:18:11,604 --> 01:18:12,970
this edition would not appear?

1231
01:18:13,105 --> 01:18:15,973
I give you my word.
It'll be a first class burial.

1232
01:18:16,609 --> 01:18:19,226
Come, sir, make an effort.
Kill yourself.

1233
01:18:20,321 --> 01:18:22,483
- Now?
- Certainly. The sooner the better.

1234
01:18:22,615 --> 01:18:24,896
- What, in front of you?
- Yes, of course, in front of me.

1235
01:18:27,119 --> 01:18:32,740
N-Now, but before you do anything serious,
I think you should inform Mr Castel Benac.

1236
01:18:32,875 --> 01:18:36,539
- After all, you are in his pay.
- Yes.

1237
01:18:37,838 --> 01:18:39,045
Castel Benac, please.

1238
01:18:39,173 --> 01:18:42,132
I should be
most interested in his answer.

1239
01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:44,292
Topaze here.

1240
01:18:44,428 --> 01:18:47,637
There's a gentleman in my office
who knows all our secrets,

1241
01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:50,428
and he's asking me...
no, not money, no.

1242
01:18:51,060 --> 01:18:54,144
- He's asking me to kill myself.
- What's he saying?

1243
01:18:55,356 --> 01:18:57,188
He said could we postpone the execution

1244
01:18:57,316 --> 01:18:59,478
and meet him in an hour
at the Café Grandval.

1245
01:18:59,610 --> 01:19:02,978
- Oh, yes. All right.
- Yes, he said all right, yes.

1246
01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:13,572
Good afternoon, Mr Benac.

1247
01:19:22,716 --> 01:19:24,207
How much do you want?

1248
01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:27,006
Half a million. The "Conscience"
has half a million readers.

1249
01:19:27,846 --> 01:19:30,930
So you are from that rag.
Why didn't you tell me?

1250
01:19:32,059 --> 01:19:34,642
Does Mr Vernacle know
that I'm in the game?

1251
01:19:34,770 --> 01:19:38,354
Yes, he told me to speak to Mr Topaze.

1252
01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:42,442
Mm, he's not so stupid.

1253
01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:46,734
Well, come on, we'll sort it all out.

1254
01:19:58,002 --> 01:20:02,121
Tell me, is this your first go at blackmail?

1255
01:20:02,256 --> 01:20:05,124
Oh, sir, do I look like a beginner?

1256
01:20:05,259 --> 01:20:09,378
The old routine, huh? First threaten them
with suicide and then make them pay.

1257
01:20:13,976 --> 01:20:16,844
Elysée 2-3-5-5-6.

1258
01:20:16,979 --> 01:20:19,892
Come in, Topaze,
it will be a lesson for you.

1259
01:20:24,653 --> 01:20:28,988
Mr Vernacle?
Good afternoon. Castel Benac.

1260
01:20:29,116 --> 01:20:32,109
Well now, my dear Vernacle... huh?

1261
01:20:32,244 --> 01:20:35,533
Oh, not too bad, old chap.
And you? Good.

1262
01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:41,035
I say, I have here a venerable old gentleman
who's been sent by you.

1263
01:20:41,170 --> 01:20:43,002
I find his price a bit steep.

1264
01:20:44,882 --> 01:20:49,217
All right. You're making a mistake
threatening an old friend.

1265
01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:51,052
Wait a moment.

1266
01:20:51,180 --> 01:20:55,800
Perhaps you could make use of another
little piece of inside information.

1267
01:20:55,934 --> 01:20:57,425
Listen.

1268
01:20:57,561 --> 01:21:00,349
Did you ever know an apprentice printer

1269
01:21:00,481 --> 01:21:05,101
who in November 1920
ran away with his employer's cashbox?

1270
01:21:06,487 --> 01:21:08,353
All right, all right, just as you say.

1271
01:21:08,489 --> 01:21:10,776
And your son Victor, is he well?

1272
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:12,865
Good. A charming boy.

1273
01:21:12,993 --> 01:21:15,827
Goodbye.
I pass you your friend now.

1274
01:21:17,456 --> 01:21:19,743
Hello?

1275
01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:22,208
And you too, Mr Vernacle.

1276
01:21:23,420 --> 01:21:25,082
Well now, that's fixed.

1277
01:21:25,214 --> 01:21:28,048
And very well fixed, sir.
My compliments.

1278
01:21:28,175 --> 01:21:30,588
Well now, all that remains
is for me to withdraw.

1279
01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:33,462
Listen now, one more word.

1280
01:21:33,597 --> 01:21:36,886
Would you do me the favour
of leaving us backwards?

1281
01:21:37,017 --> 01:21:40,351
- Why?
- Because if you turn your back on me,

1282
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:43,972
I couldn't resist the temptation
to kick your behind.

1283
01:21:44,858 --> 01:21:47,350
As you wish, by all means.

1284
01:21:47,486 --> 01:21:50,069
Certainly, sir, yes.

1285
01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:52,780
Good day, gentlemen.
Thank you very much.

1286
01:21:58,288 --> 01:22:01,872
Any you... I'll see you later.

1287
01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:03,957
Mr Benac...

1288
01:22:19,977 --> 01:22:22,139
My dear friend.

1289
01:22:22,646 --> 01:22:25,764
I am so happy to see you.

1290
01:22:25,899 --> 01:22:28,767
I am indeed enchanted.

1291
01:22:28,902 --> 01:22:32,987
I'm in Paris for a headmasters' conference,
and I could not resist the opportunity

1292
01:22:33,115 --> 01:22:37,155
of coming to congratulate you
on your success.

1293
01:22:37,286 --> 01:22:39,744
- Success?
- Yes, of course.

1294
01:22:39,872 --> 01:22:43,240
Oh, here in Paris everything is wonderful.

1295
01:22:43,375 --> 01:22:47,745
And here every morning at eight o'clock,
I get a pleasurable sensation

1296
01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:52,500
as I see three roadsweepers
pass the front of my modest hotel,

1297
01:22:52,634 --> 01:22:57,675
and on three gleaming bonnets
there sparkles your name, "Topaze".

1298
01:22:57,806 --> 01:23:01,550
Well, I tell you, when I see them pass,
I bow to them.

1299
01:23:02,519 --> 01:23:04,761
There's nothing to bow to, Headmaster.

1300
01:23:04,897 --> 01:23:06,809
Ah, come, come!
You always were a modest fellow.

1301
01:23:06,940 --> 01:23:09,728
Tell me,
are you earning a lot of money?

1302
01:23:09,860 --> 01:23:13,149
I've become nothing more than a crook.

1303
01:23:13,280 --> 01:23:16,523
Oh, come! Are you, er...
Are you earning a lot of money?

1304
01:23:16,658 --> 01:23:19,071
- I'm earning far too much money.
- Huh!

1305
01:23:19,203 --> 01:23:23,072
There is a beautiful reply -
"far too much money".

1306
01:23:23,207 --> 01:23:24,539
Well, I always knew it.

1307
01:23:24,666 --> 01:23:26,623
How many times
have I said to my family,

1308
01:23:26,752 --> 01:23:28,789
"That fellow will go far"?

1309
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:33,461
And it was only out of pure friendship
that on the day you asked to leave us,

1310
01:23:33,592 --> 01:23:35,834
I did not try to make you stay.

1311
01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:40,760
And now, my dear Topaze, I must talk to you
about a matter very close to my heart.

1312
01:23:40,891 --> 01:23:45,306
I'm a father, my dear Topaze,
an unhappy father.

1313
01:23:45,437 --> 01:23:47,224
Is Miss Muche ill?

1314
01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:51,521
She is suffering from an incurable illness -
her heart.

1315
01:23:51,652 --> 01:23:55,441
- Well, she should see a specialist.
- Huh! He stands before me.

1316
01:23:55,572 --> 01:23:57,689
Yes! Yes, alas, yes.

1317
01:23:57,824 --> 01:24:00,157
In those days when you were
the flower of our school,

1318
01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:05,371
little did you realise that at your feet
lay the heart of this poor child.

1319
01:24:05,499 --> 01:24:07,832
Love had brushed her with his wing,

1320
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,953
and I, the blind father,
I did not understand,

1321
01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:15,924
but since you have been away from us,
her sadness almost breaks my heart.

1322
01:24:16,051 --> 01:24:18,464
She stands dreaming by the fireplace.

1323
01:24:18,595 --> 01:24:21,679
She has grown thin,
and at last she told me all.

1324
01:24:21,807 --> 01:24:25,892
That, my dear Topaze,
is the confession of a father.

1325
01:24:26,019 --> 01:24:28,102
Say nothing you may regret later.

1326
01:24:28,230 --> 01:24:32,190
She's out there waiting now,
with anguish in her heart.

1327
01:24:32,317 --> 01:24:33,683
Headmaster,

1328
01:24:33,819 --> 01:24:37,938
when I asked for your daughter's hand,
you threw me out.

1329
01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:41,032
- But you did ask for my daughter's hand?
- Yes.

1330
01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:42,195
It's yours.

1331
01:24:42,327 --> 01:24:45,946
Ernestine!

1332
01:24:48,125 --> 01:24:50,037
Henri!

1333
01:24:54,172 --> 01:24:55,413
Henri!

1334
01:24:55,549 --> 01:24:57,165
My name is Albert.

1335
01:24:57,301 --> 01:24:59,964
- Oh! Uh...
- Miss Muche!

1336
01:25:00,095 --> 01:25:02,303
Oh, Albert, do not touch me.

1337
01:25:02,431 --> 01:25:06,471
We're all alone.
Do not take advantage of the situation.

1338
01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:10,061
Miss Muche! Please, please, Miss Muche,
I'm not the fool that I used to be.

1339
01:25:10,188 --> 01:25:13,147
- Oh, Albert, what are you doing?
- I'm not doing anything.

1340
01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:15,107
You must not take advantage
of me like this.

1341
01:25:15,235 --> 01:25:18,478
I'm not trying to take advantage of you,
Miss Muche. This game is useless.

1342
01:25:18,614 --> 01:25:21,527
- Oh, my modest darling.
- Please, Miss Muche.

1343
01:25:21,658 --> 01:25:23,524
- Oh, dear Albert!
- Your buttons!

1344
01:25:23,660 --> 01:25:25,822
- Oh, dear Albert!
- Miss Muche!

1345
01:25:25,954 --> 01:25:30,073
Oh, Albert, it is all right.
Papa has given us his blessing.

1346
01:25:30,208 --> 01:25:31,870
Miss Muche.

1347
01:25:32,669 --> 01:25:34,205
No.

1348
01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:36,246
No.

1349
01:25:37,966 --> 01:25:40,333
Albert...

1350
01:25:40,469 --> 01:25:42,335
Yes!

1351
01:25:43,680 --> 01:25:44,716
Yes.

1352
01:25:47,809 --> 01:25:49,425
Miss Muche...

1353
01:25:50,937 --> 01:25:51,973
Would you kindly leave?

1354
01:25:52,105 --> 01:25:54,472
- Leave?
- Yes.

1355
01:25:57,527 --> 01:26:00,235
You filthy little crook!

1356
01:26:06,787 --> 01:26:08,323
Oh, well...

1357
01:26:08,455 --> 01:26:10,663
Please allow me to explain.
I can explain...

1358
01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:12,999
My dear Topaze,
there is nothing to explain.

1359
01:26:13,126 --> 01:26:14,687
I didn't want to talk to you in the café,

1360
01:26:14,711 --> 01:26:17,151
but I really think the best thing
would be for us to separate.

1361
01:26:17,214 --> 01:26:20,924
It's not your fault that you're not exactly
bright, so I want us to part as friends.

1362
01:26:21,051 --> 01:26:24,795
And I have a little farewell present for you.
There.

1363
01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:27,968
Better get some of those files.

1364
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:30,217
- Can't you guess what it is?
- No.

1365
01:26:30,352 --> 01:26:33,220
The decoration that Regis applied for
on your behalf.

1366
01:26:35,691 --> 01:26:39,025
- You mean I have it officially?
- Ha!

1367
01:26:39,611 --> 01:26:41,853
Nothing more official than that.

1368
01:26:41,988 --> 01:26:44,856
And now, Topaze, what would you say
to a nice teaching post, huh?

1369
01:26:46,868 --> 01:26:48,325
No, thank you.

1370
01:26:48,453 --> 01:26:51,617
Oh. Do you perhaps want
a small pension?

1371
01:26:51,748 --> 01:26:53,068
No, I don't want a small pension.

1372
01:26:54,543 --> 01:26:56,330
Oh! A large pension then.

1373
01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:58,544
Really, he's perhaps
not as stupid as he looks.

1374
01:26:58,672 --> 01:27:00,004
Come on, tell us what you want.

1375
01:27:00,716 --> 01:27:02,173
I want to stay here.

1376
01:27:02,300 --> 01:27:04,292
- To do what?
- Prove myself.

1377
01:27:05,095 --> 01:27:07,758
I should have thought
you have already done that sufficiently.

1378
01:27:08,598 --> 01:27:09,884
No.

1379
01:27:10,016 --> 01:27:14,181
I'm just beginning to understand
how the wheels go round.

1380
01:27:14,938 --> 01:27:18,181
- A Mr Obisulay is here.
- Right, coming.

1381
01:27:18,942 --> 01:27:22,060
- Would you let me see him?
- What for? To ruin the deal? Please!

1382
01:27:22,195 --> 01:27:24,278
Regis, give him one more chance.

1383
01:27:24,406 --> 01:27:27,444
But darling, it's dangerous.

1384
01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:29,613
He's had chance after chance.

1385
01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:32,032
Please, just one more.

1386
01:27:32,914 --> 01:27:35,907
Darling... be generous.

1387
01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:45,383
All right. But put on that medal of yours
to give you some assurance.

1388
01:27:46,636 --> 01:27:48,252
Give it to me.

1389
01:27:48,388 --> 01:27:51,472
Get him quickly out of the way.
The Chief of Police will be waiting for us.

1390
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,967
- The Chief of Police?
- Yes.

1391
01:27:54,102 --> 01:27:56,310
For dinner.

1392
01:27:58,064 --> 01:27:59,430
Yes.

1393
01:28:00,233 --> 01:28:01,269
Yes.

1394
01:28:01,818 --> 01:28:03,354
Good luck.

1395
01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:18,909
Mr Obisulay?

1396
01:28:19,044 --> 01:28:21,001
I don't believe we've met.

1397
01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:24,418
My name is Topaze.
How do you do?

1398
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:26,958
Please.

1399
01:28:28,428 --> 01:28:29,839
Thank you.

1400
01:28:30,388 --> 01:28:32,380
So nice to meet you, Mr Obisulay.

1401
01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:37,517
He has certainly got a nerve.

1402
01:28:37,646 --> 01:28:40,605
I haven't seen the man for six whole months,
and now he's late.

1403
01:28:40,732 --> 01:28:44,191
It's not his fault if you've been away
on a goodwill tour of Africa.

1404
01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:47,778
I ruin my health touring the underdeveloped
countries, trying to help.

1405
01:28:47,906 --> 01:28:49,442
Help who?

1406
01:28:49,574 --> 01:28:53,693
Please! And he? I told him to be here
at 2:00pm, and now it's 4:30!

1407
01:28:53,829 --> 01:28:54,990
Where is he?

1408
01:28:55,121 --> 01:28:57,738
- If you keep on shouting, I think I shall go.
- Yes, please go.

1409
01:28:57,874 --> 01:29:01,413
There is no need for you to wait.
It's just the monthly accounts I have to settle.

1410
01:29:01,545 --> 01:29:05,289
- You'd be very pleased if I left, wouldn't you?
- Huh?

1411
01:29:05,423 --> 01:29:08,336
Then you'd be able
to keep that London deal from me.

1412
01:29:08,468 --> 01:29:10,926
What London deal?
I don't know what you're talking about.

1413
01:29:11,054 --> 01:29:12,465
Then why do you want me to go?

1414
01:29:12,597 --> 01:29:16,056
Because when you're not there, I can be
more free with my language, that's why.

1415
01:29:16,184 --> 01:29:18,892
And Mr Topaze badly needs
a dressing-down.

1416
01:29:19,020 --> 01:29:20,386
- Why?
- "Why"?

1417
01:29:20,522 --> 01:29:22,935
Because he's getting damn cheeky,
our schoolteacher.

1418
01:29:23,066 --> 01:29:24,728
- And it's all your fault!
- My fault?

1419
01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:26,692
Yes, your fault,
right from the beginning.

1420
01:29:26,820 --> 01:29:29,813
You taught him how to dress,
you taught him how to eat,

1421
01:29:29,948 --> 01:29:31,940
you gave him a taste for good food,
and now?

1422
01:29:32,075 --> 01:29:34,613
My goodness, he's got
the self-assurance and the energy

1423
01:29:34,744 --> 01:29:37,236
of well-nourished people like us!

1424
01:29:39,416 --> 01:29:40,782
Mr Topaze.

1425
01:29:44,170 --> 01:29:46,503
It is almost 4:45.

1426
01:29:46,631 --> 01:29:48,748
No, it's 4:32.

1427
01:29:50,594 --> 01:29:52,677
Madam, you are grace and charm itself.

1428
01:29:52,804 --> 01:29:54,545
Thank you, Mr Topaze.

1429
01:29:54,681 --> 01:29:57,424
- What can I do for you?
- First settle the monthly accounts,

1430
01:29:57,559 --> 01:29:59,676
and then I have something
I would like to say to you.

1431
01:29:59,811 --> 01:30:05,899
Right. I owe you for the last six months
a total sum of 3,246,753 francs.

1432
01:30:06,860 --> 01:30:09,193
- Right, that figure agrees with mine.
- Good.

1433
01:30:09,321 --> 01:30:11,278
Does that include the London deal?

1434
01:30:11,406 --> 01:30:14,399
- Yes, what is this, this London deal?
- It's a strictly personal matter.

1435
01:30:14,534 --> 01:30:17,618
- What do you mean, "personal"?
- I mean that it doesn't concern you.

1436
01:30:17,746 --> 01:30:19,203
- What?
- Please sit down.

1437
01:30:19,331 --> 01:30:21,664
- I will not sit down.
- Don't sit down, then.

1438
01:30:21,791 --> 01:30:22,907
- Cigarette?
- Yes.

1439
01:30:23,043 --> 01:30:25,706
No! What is this London deal?

1440
01:30:25,837 --> 01:30:28,170
Let me put a few figures before you.

1441
01:30:28,298 --> 01:30:34,966
The company has earned over
the last ten months 16,842,753 francs.

1442
01:30:35,096 --> 01:30:37,588
The running expenses
amount to 6,000,000.

1443
01:30:37,724 --> 01:30:40,888
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- You have therefore made a profit

1444
01:30:41,019 --> 01:30:42,681
of over 10,000,000.

1445
01:30:42,812 --> 01:30:45,725
Excellent business while it lasted.
What a lovely view.

1446
01:30:45,857 --> 01:30:48,850
But now it's all over. From now on,
the company will belong to me,

1447
01:30:48,985 --> 01:30:51,318
all the profits will go to me.
It's as simple as that.

1448
01:30:51,446 --> 01:30:53,358
Very funny.

1449
01:30:53,490 --> 01:30:55,652
Do you imagine
that you own this company?

1450
01:30:55,784 --> 01:30:58,026
I don't imagine, I do.

1451
01:30:58,161 --> 01:31:00,904
The lease is in my name,
the company is in my name.

1452
01:31:01,039 --> 01:31:03,076
Everything is legally mine.

1453
01:31:04,000 --> 01:31:06,242
Everything is legally his.
What?

1454
01:31:08,129 --> 01:31:10,371
- But that's theft!
- Then you take it to court.

1455
01:31:11,174 --> 01:31:13,131
Say something, for goodness' sake!

1456
01:31:13,802 --> 01:31:15,043
I will!

1457
01:31:17,847 --> 01:31:19,588
Oh, my God.

1458
01:31:19,724 --> 01:31:21,444
There's very little else he can say, madam.

1459
01:31:22,477 --> 01:31:26,187
Listen, without me,
you'd still be at Muche's school.

1460
01:31:26,314 --> 01:31:28,977
I taught you everything.
I trusted you like...

1461
01:31:29,109 --> 01:31:31,226
Yes, like your own brother.

1462
01:31:31,361 --> 01:31:35,355
But you earn 10,000,000, Regis.
No pupil ever brought me in such a sum.

1463
01:31:36,992 --> 01:31:40,030
No! No, I can't believe it.

1464
01:31:41,162 --> 01:31:43,602
I've seen you at work, Regis,
and I've been able to judge you.

1465
01:31:43,707 --> 01:31:47,826
You're a crook, I agree,
but you're a little one with no imagination.

1466
01:31:47,961 --> 01:31:51,420
What shall we say?
A sort of second-rate jack of all trades.

1467
01:31:52,007 --> 01:31:53,293
Well?

1468
01:31:55,427 --> 01:31:57,384
- Blast!
- Is that all you have to say?

1469
01:31:58,304 --> 01:31:59,670
What can I say to a bandit?

1470
01:32:01,891 --> 01:32:04,508
You... you are a bandit!

1471
01:32:04,644 --> 01:32:05,885
Very witty!

1472
01:32:06,021 --> 01:32:08,058
- Oh, you! You shut up!
- What?

1473
01:32:08,189 --> 01:32:10,772
I'm beginning to think
that you two are in it together.

1474
01:32:10,900 --> 01:32:12,186
You money-grabbing little...

1475
01:32:12,318 --> 01:32:14,935
I picked you up in the gutter, remember?
That's where you belong.

1476
01:32:15,447 --> 01:32:17,484
- What did you say?
- Exactly what I said.

1477
01:32:17,615 --> 01:32:19,402
- Haven't you sponged enough on me?
- You...

1478
01:32:19,534 --> 01:32:23,744
Well, if you two are going to discuss
intimacies, I think I'd better leave.

1479
01:32:23,872 --> 01:32:25,534
Madam.

1480
01:32:25,665 --> 01:32:26,997
You...

1481
01:32:27,125 --> 01:32:30,618
Don't you imagine it'll be as easy as all that!

1482
01:32:30,754 --> 01:32:34,088
Laugh! Laugh! But he who laughs last,
laughs loud... er, loudest.

1483
01:32:34,215 --> 01:32:36,615
- Good, good.
- I'll go straight away to the Chief of Police.

1484
01:32:36,676 --> 01:32:38,668
That would greatly surprise me.

1485
01:32:38,803 --> 01:32:42,672
And you? You'll be back where you
came from - in the gutter! I'll see to that.

1486
01:32:42,807 --> 01:32:43,923
Get out!

1487
01:32:44,059 --> 01:32:45,659
- Whom are you telling to get out?
- You.

1488
01:32:45,685 --> 01:32:48,519
I paid for all this, every single piece
of furniture, every poodle.

1489
01:32:48,646 --> 01:32:50,646
It's entirely irrelevant.
You were told to get out.

1490
01:32:52,734 --> 01:32:56,569
I could use violence.
But I won't.

1491
01:32:56,696 --> 01:33:00,736
When I choose, I'll make you pay for your...
your... your... well, you know what.

1492
01:33:00,867 --> 01:33:02,824
For the moment, I prefer to laugh at it.

1493
01:33:07,457 --> 01:33:08,914
Thank you.

1494
01:33:09,042 --> 01:33:11,876
Oh, it was a great pleasure,
I assure you,

1495
01:33:12,003 --> 01:33:14,711
but I have the feeling
that you'll finally forgive him.

1496
01:33:14,839 --> 01:33:16,580
Oh, really?

1497
01:33:16,716 --> 01:33:18,878
What are you going to do
now that you are on your own?

1498
01:33:19,010 --> 01:33:21,468
Well, I've been on my own
for the last six months.

1499
01:33:21,596 --> 01:33:24,339
I have four contracts
with the British Admiralty,

1500
01:33:24,474 --> 01:33:28,935
a French invention, which should greatly
enhance the reputation of our country.

1501
01:33:29,062 --> 01:33:32,806
So, for a mere schoolteacher,
I suppose I haven't done at all badly.

1502
01:33:32,941 --> 01:33:34,853
Oh, no, not at all.

1503
01:33:35,902 --> 01:33:38,144
Well, goodbye.

1504
01:33:38,279 --> 01:33:39,520
Goodbye.

1505
01:33:39,656 --> 01:33:41,522
Perhaps I'll see you sometimes around.

1506
01:33:41,658 --> 01:33:43,524
Yes, perhaps.

1507
01:33:43,660 --> 01:33:45,447
Paris is a very small place.

1508
01:33:59,676 --> 01:34:02,510
Tamise!

1509
01:34:03,179 --> 01:34:04,511
Topaze!

1510
01:34:10,228 --> 01:34:12,220
- Topaze!
- Tamise!

1511
01:34:14,440 --> 01:34:17,308
Oh, how wonderful it is to see you.

1512
01:34:17,443 --> 01:34:21,062
Oh, you old devil, you haven't changed
one tiny little bit.

1513
01:34:21,197 --> 01:34:24,065
Well, you have!
You've got an overcoat at last.

1514
01:34:24,200 --> 01:34:26,317
- And the beard, it is different.
- Yes.

1515
01:34:26,452 --> 01:34:29,445
Well, a lot of things are different.

1516
01:34:29,581 --> 01:34:33,575
Well, that's fine, too, as long as
the man himself is still the same.

1517
01:34:33,710 --> 01:34:35,246
Yes.

1518
01:34:35,378 --> 01:34:37,040
Topaze, you haven't changed, have you?

1519
01:34:37,172 --> 01:34:40,756
It's suggested in the newspapers
that you are dishonest.

1520
01:34:42,468 --> 01:34:44,334
- Well...
- Well...

1521
01:34:44,470 --> 01:34:47,429
Why don't you write to the papers
and deny it?

1522
01:34:47,557 --> 01:34:49,173
It's true.

1523
01:34:50,226 --> 01:34:53,435
- Topaze, you're making fun of me.
- Listen, Tamise.

1524
01:34:54,480 --> 01:34:58,269
Everything I've done since I left the school
is punishable by law,

1525
01:34:58,401 --> 01:35:01,769
and if the world were properly organised,
I'd be in prison right now.

1526
01:35:01,905 --> 01:35:04,693
- I don't believe it.
- Would I lie to you?

1527
01:35:04,824 --> 01:35:07,783
But how can you have changed so much?

1528
01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:10,244
You were the most honest man
I've ever known.

1529
01:35:10,371 --> 01:35:11,487
Yes.

1530
01:35:11,623 --> 01:35:15,412
And it lost me the only thing I ever cared for,
my job at the school.

1531
01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:18,581
Now I'm a so-called crook, I'm rich,

1532
01:35:18,713 --> 01:35:22,332
and that, believe you me,
is the only thing that gains one respect.

1533
01:35:23,509 --> 01:35:24,966
- That's not true.
- Oh, yes, it is.

1534
01:35:25,094 --> 01:35:26,585
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.

1535
01:35:26,721 --> 01:35:29,634
- I will not...
- Tamise, you're talking like an idiot.

1536
01:35:29,766 --> 01:35:32,286
Why don't you open your eyes
and look at the world as it really is

1537
01:35:32,310 --> 01:35:34,597
instead of living
in that dream world of yours.

1538
01:35:34,729 --> 01:35:36,937
You'll find that money can do anything.

1539
01:35:37,065 --> 01:35:40,775
If I want a set of gold teeth,
permission to eat meat on Fridays,

1540
01:35:40,902 --> 01:35:44,737
any woman I like,
I've only got to say two small words:

1541
01:35:44,864 --> 01:35:45,900
"How much?"

1542
01:35:48,660 --> 01:35:51,403
And has your money
bought you happiness?

1543
01:35:52,080 --> 01:35:54,117
Has it bought me happiness?

1544
01:35:56,334 --> 01:35:57,415
I'm buying it now.

1545
01:35:59,087 --> 01:36:00,919
Oh, I see.

1546
01:36:03,258 --> 01:36:06,001
Well, I'll leave you to get on
with your shopping.

1547
01:36:08,596 --> 01:36:09,803
Tamise...